Speechless - Comments

Keep up the awesome work Luna! :D Can't wait for the next chapter :) ^.^

Excuse the *so*

How long has it been? o.o I really like your story (: you nailed people's reactions when asking so
someone out and stuff. I hope you update really soon.

hhhmmmm very intrstin lol
update soon ^_^

Hello! I'm sorry it took me thins long to get back to you. This story is really interesting! The plot is really original, and all the characters are portrayed so wonderfully. It was fun to read. Well done!

I <3 the new chapter, can't wait for the next... :)

Thank goodness, an update, its been so loooonnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggg!

beautiful thats how it was when i saw my guiutar the freshly poslished rosewood and metal string glinting i knew it was simple nothing fancy but i could imagine me playing it

Oh, Luna, how I've missed you! We seriously need to catch up soon.
Anyway, I'll go read the new chapter now and comment like I always do. xD

Chapter 12
"I want candy! Can I have some candy?"
"Exaggerate. Another word that sounds awesome to me."
"Hypnotize. Haha!"
"Aww! A cat! I love cats. :3"
"We switched to Alphonse? Ah, yes, we did."
"I'm glad he finally found the perfect violin!"
"I AM VERY GLAD YOU UPDATED! :3"

N'aww, I didn't get any love. But you're still awshum! xD
I loved the chapter as always. And I love you too! <3

Sorry for such a late comment back! I didn't forget! :)

I really like the whole conflict between Claude (spelling?) and Alphonse. I kind of imagine those TV sitcoms where there's the two brothers and their older and they always are arguing and stuff. I could totally imagine what was going on in the scene where Claude yells at Alphonse about joining music club. And I can totally relate, because that is someone he does, not Alphonse. And he wants to keep it that way.

Oh, the second chapter was really good. Except, I kinda got confused. Did Alphonse leave the music room because he was guilty of taking music away from Claude? If so, then I love that little bit of internal conflict. :) And I also like how he was so captivated by the girl, but he thought she wouldn't talk to him because she hated him or something. :) Alphonse has a lot of confidence issues, it seems. :o

Soo, he didn't leave music club before in the second chapter. Ok. :) I like how he is kinda embarrassed when the girl asks if he likes what he sees. That part actually made me laugh. :) And how he was so determined to find his instrument that he didn't want to sit with the cool kids. That's some guts right there! And he must be popular if the kids all wanted him back. Yay Alphonse. :) SO THE MUTE GIRL IS RAVEN? That's a fitting name for her description! Nice. (:

So Alphonse is going to play violin? Interesting. Unless I misunderstood that whole thing about knowing his instrument. And Raven is always nervous around him. Maybe she likes how he is kinda a BAMF, ya know? XD That's my impression of him. :D

Well, I would read more, but I've gotta go ride bikes with my parents. I'm going to make it a plan to read the rest of it soon, though, so expect another comment from me soon. :) Love the story so far, and keep up the good work! :D

Because I adore your writing style, I skipped my merry way over and clicked this story and thank god I did.(:
I love it- Raven is adorable, while Alphonse is just..funny and cool. xD

Subscribing to this one as well!

I like your layout, it's very different and certainly not something you see very often but it's nice, very original and quirky. I also like your summary, yours doesn't give too much away yet it's not too lacking in detail which is good, because it just gives enough away so the reader know what's going to happen while withholding the main parts.The name Alphonse made me giggle, I immediately thought of an Italian mafia gangster. xD

Aww, I understand how Alphonse feels, my parents are your usual Asian parents who expect their children to be good at everything. I also like his brother's name, you give your characters unique and original names :D Your plot flows rather smoothly and I just love the fact that you've worked a mute person into the story, it's very original! Your way of moving things is good, it's fast enough to keep the reader on their toes yet not way too fast that it's all of a daze for the reader, you introduced the girl at a good time. :)

Omg, poor Raven! D; You can just feel Alphonse's worry for her and his anxiety and fear at what the jocks might do to him. But anyway, your descriptions are good and your dialogue is very realistic, it is exactly how people speak. You've captured everything well and you have a knack of building up suspense which compels the reader into wanting more :D

Good job <3

This story is very interesting. In the first chapter, I felt bad for him. Then in the second chapter I wanted to smack him for being so mean...I really do adore his character though.
This is a subject I haven't seen all that often which makes it more interesting to read about when you find a story like it. I think you tell the story well and to me the characters seem so real.

They layout is pretty cool. It's a big attention grabber, which is good.

I enjoyed reading this story so far and plan on continuing. (:

I'm subbing because I don't have the time to read anymore. But damn, I love this!!! <33

You do not know how relatable Alphonse is to me. My brother is, like, a music genious and I don't really have a talent. I feel like he gets all of the attention because of all of his band stuff. But, of course, I love my brother and I am not really bothered by it. Anyway, I really adore Alphonse and the relationship with his brother considering he is trying to be better than him. I get the feeling that Claude does not really think that his brother is going to be good at music like he is even though he could be wrong. Even though I have only read the first chapter, you have done a wonderful job on this story. Keep up the good work!

Like Odette said, I really like the unique names. Alfonse is an awesome name. You do a great job of creating his character through his words and his actions. For example, when he was being all mean to Raven. It shows his frustration towards the opposite sex. Great job with that.

The layout is simple, and it shows the youthfulness that this story is built upon. Good job choosing an appropriate picture, too.

You have a natural knack for story-telling. Your descriptions aren't too lengthy, and your dialogue is very realistic and pure. It seems like you understand the way people talk, which is key for this story in particular.

Fabulous job. I'm speechless.

Ryan

I read the first few chapters and I must say that I absolutely love this so far :) I love all the emotion and descriptions that you put into this. You show how much you work and how much thought you actually put into this story. I absolutely am falling for this one :) Amazing work. I also love the layout, I have plenty more to read :)

Oh and PS- for the swap you can either read High Stakes, The End of Forever (these 2 are short), I Scream into the Night for You, OR And if All That Can't Hold You Back, I'll Jump for You......

Any who, I absolutely love this story and am going to continue reading this :)

I love the unique names! It makes the characters stand out to me :)

Also, I wasn't quite sure about the story, even though the details and dialogue were flawless. But then I read the second chapter and read the last paragraph and I was hooked. You ended it very well.

I am going back to read more :D

I adored this. Fantastic!

I can really understand what Alphonse feels in the sense of wanting to surpass his brother's talents and standing up to the jocks.

Very well written! Subscribed for certain :)

"The clouded skies turned darker as the night approached. At the parks, the small children payed no attention to the rumbling of lightning. The shops closed one by one to wait silently for the light of a new day. Under the natural lights of the stars, laying on the grass looking up at the stars, was a normal teenage boy. As he laid there silently, he thought about nature, life, humans, music. Music most of all. He was thinking about what kind of instrument he should buy for music club. A guitar, a flute, a trumpet, a piano, drums, cello, bass, violin, or even a triangle? He didn't know. Actually, he didn't quite care."

I love this whole first paragraph. I'm not even sure if my favourite line is the one about the children, or the fragments about him not caring which instrument he chose. It all fits together really well.

The second paragraph is great too, and... it just keeps going. This is quite well done, and flows better than most things I read on Mibba, and I'm not just saying that, I really do mean it. I particularly love that you come into the story with a specific angle and a conflict already bubbling in the background, rather than doing that whole 'this story takes place in a highschool, just because' thing. It shows some originality, and that made it genuinely enjoyable to read.

The pace is also good- I think you introduce the girl at just the right point, and in a manner that makes your writing seem effortless, even when I'm sure that it isn't.

This was very nicely done. Congratulations!