Well I don't know what/who Mary Sue is so oh well. And I'm aware I don't proof read. To me, its a waste of time, maybe not to you but it is to me. I write for fun, so i don't worry over every little detail. I'm aware I need to proof read but I'm what you would call....um...what's the word? Oh yeah.
Watch your capitalization, proof reading is good, and the font is too tiny. But from what I've read, the main character seems like a cliche' Mary Sue with the abusive mom, and such. =/
I LOVE YOU. I WROTE U A MESSAGE AND THEN I READ YOUR STORY!!!!!!! I WAS MENTIONED, AND SOMETHING WAS NAMED AFTER ME!!!!!! BILL THEN TOM'S GIRL FRIEND!!!!!! I'M ABOUT TO F!@#$ING EXPLODE!!!! and and and and and and and and and then then then then, I WAS MENTIONED AGAIN!!!!!! AND MY STORY WAS RECOMENDED!!!!NOT LIKE IT'S A GOOD STORY, BUT YOU WERE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ENTHUSIASTIC!!!!!!! (footnote- I'm still straight but your my f!@king idol!!!!!!) YOU MADE MY WISH COME TRUE!!!!!!! MEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! SPEECHLESS SPAZZING!!!!! I LUV YA LOLA,(keep in mind my footnote from earlier) I'M DROOLING. JK JK THAT WOULD BE GROSS BUT OMFG OMFG OMFG i SHOULD PROBABLY HIT SEND NOW AFTER CREEPING YOU OUT!!!!!BUT TOO DAMMNN BAD!!!!! OH MY FRICKEN GAWDS!!!