July 23rd, 2010 at 05:44am
I really really enjoyed it. I wanted to keep on reading. The ending of the first chapter was great and I know how hard it is to find a place to end but at the same time leave the reader wanting more as you had done with me.
I did feel as if the story was a little too fast. At times I felt you could give more depth to Venetia by explaining her thoughts and emotions a little more. Also, the connection between your introduction but and her later running could have been stronger.
Overall I did enjoy it though and the conclusion was amazing. I like endings that aren't so happy.
And it fit the picture sooo well! I really enjoy reading it a lot =D Good luck in the contest =D