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sequel pleaseeee i love jonathan and all but TJ needs some love too

The comment above is pretty much my thoughts right now (:

Sequel please! This was very well written, I wanna see TJ scoop her up (even though I love Tazer)

This is definitely unlike anything you've written before; you LOVE "fluff" and this was as far away from "fluff" as you can get.

And I loved it. I think it's in everyone's minds that all stories have to have a happy ending where the boy gets the girls and I loved how you went away from this notion. I was kinda surprised at the length (but compared to the 10,000 word one shot you wrote, everything else is short), but you were able to convey her feelings and thoughts through the simplest of words.

I would have liked to hear a little bit more from Jonathan and how he felt, but...if you write a sequel you could definitely explore that there! :D

GREAT JOB <33

i really, really liked this.
not your average one shot where everything is happy and flowers and puppies. no, this is real. you got the point across in a short amount of words and i really like that because it still left lie a full length novel.
i'ld LOVE to see some kind of sequel. i know a lot of people do the whole oshie/toews thing, but i think this story would be really good. ((:

Okay, this was pretty darn good. First of all, your words were simple, yes, but you wove them together with flow that I think comes naturally to you. The third person was kind of in interesting change. Like, it's not my normal cup of tea, but I think you wrote it well. Your use of repetition in terms of asking questions was really good for emphasis on her thoughts. Just generally, I gotta say that I like this and yeah, you better do that sequel for Fattie. :D Love you, woman!

dfyghjkl;poiuytrdfcvbnm,l;.'lpoiuytgfdgvbhnjmk i love it!! I loved it from start to finish! I want a sequel! :)

I like how this is different from all the other things you have posted. I like how it doesn't have a happy ending. I like how so much is conveyed about the two of them with little conversation. I like how realistic this seems to be because I can see this happening in my head -- one hockey player who has a girlfriend -- I assume a while -- and he grows bored of her (total guess here) while his teammate falls for her -- or is that stretching too far with this? Anyways. Like I mentioned to you, I like the role reversal. I like how instead of TJ being the typical ass, it's Jon instead. I like the way you integrated some of the lyrics of the song. I liked how instead of him going after her... it's TJ who calls. He does nothing to try and convince her otherwise. It's almost unexpected -- especially with your dislike of sad endings -- and I liked it. And for the last time (although, you and I know this won't be the last time because you'll always think your writing is terrible and I'll always deny that) this is not terrible. And for only writing it in 45 minutes? It's damn good. :)

how could you think this was awful?
i loved it so much even though it was sad.
i liked how you explained so much without having them say much.
i really loved it.
good luck

yay! im the first comment!! i really think there should be a sequel but it was written well and i love all of ur stories!! maybe u could turn it into a story?

yay! im the first comment!! i really think there should be a sequel but it was written well and i love all of ur stories!! maybe u could turn it into a story?

yay! im the first comment!! i really think there should be a sequel but it was written well and i love all of ur stories!! maybe u could turn it into a story?