That was really powerful, brave writing. It has been seen so much - the man reducing the woman to tears - but you've managed to revert that tendency in such an elegant way. There is so simple resolution to that bitter love. It's romanticism turned sour - he's being the hopeless Isabella Linton to her Heathcliff (to borrow a comparison). For such a short story, it provides a tantalising snippet, a sketch of two characters that seem trapped in a pattern that's both interesting literately and psychologically.
In terms of literary skill, it's very...fervid in expression. Your semantic fields are primarily based on the five main senses which I adore in this context. It seems to imply that love, even on a destructive scale, is part of the basic components of humanity. It also doesn't care what the reader thinks about those two, particularly the female character. Often, people have the irresistible desire to make all the main protagonists likable which is just unrealistic. There;s a certain amount of honesty within her portrayal. Similarly, there is the need by readers to almost think "if she can write about it, then she must have either experienced this or thinks this way". Which of course is a fallacy. Your writing is therefore like this Scottish short story writer I'm a big fan of called Laura Hird. She doesn't aim to show the world as all love and that, she shows that to all good things, there is darkness and I think that comes through in your writing very well.
Psychologically speaking, I cannot help but make attributions about the two characters. What strikes me at first is the gender role reversal which I think in itself is a great thing to show. I can't stand the stereotypical strong, callous male versus the sensitive, twee female. I find it irritating on a personal level and your dialogue with her is really true to her character and to how someone who was manipulative but slightly naive would act.
Couple of things; you misspell "loves" in the summary but it might be intentional. I can think up a reason why but that's because I'm a Modernist. Just in case it's not to create ambiguity about her feelings between loves and loved. And your paragraph spacing seems a little strange to me.
But those things are superficial. Honestly, it was a great read and I feel it's a damned shame that this has not had any comments before now.
In terms of literary skill, it's very...fervid in expression. Your semantic fields are primarily based on the five main senses which I adore in this context. It seems to imply that love, even on a destructive scale, is part of the basic components of humanity. It also doesn't care what the reader thinks about those two, particularly the female character. Often, people have the irresistible desire to make all the main protagonists likable which is just unrealistic. There;s a certain amount of honesty within her portrayal. Similarly, there is the need by readers to almost think "if she can write about it, then she must have either experienced this or thinks this way". Which of course is a fallacy. Your writing is therefore like this Scottish short story writer I'm a big fan of called Laura Hird. She doesn't aim to show the world as all love and that, she shows that to all good things, there is darkness and I think that comes through in your writing very well.
Psychologically speaking, I cannot help but make attributions about the two characters. What strikes me at first is the gender role reversal which I think in itself is a great thing to show. I can't stand the stereotypical strong, callous male versus the sensitive, twee female. I find it irritating on a personal level and your dialogue with her is really true to her character and to how someone who was manipulative but slightly naive would act.
Couple of things; you misspell "loves" in the summary but it might be intentional. I can think up a reason why but that's because I'm a Modernist. Just in case it's not to create ambiguity about her feelings between loves and loved. And your paragraph spacing seems a little strange to me.
But those things are superficial. Honestly, it was a great read and I feel it's a damned shame that this has not had any comments before now.