Running From the Sun - Comments

I feel that you have made the characters too serious from the way they speak. If you made them a little less serious and and a little less formal in the dialogue then you will have a great story in your hands

I just re-read the prequel and now this. I don't understand the point and I think it's rather pointless. It makes no sense. The prequel and sequel are all jumbled up in terms of paragraph spacing and need to be fixed. There are a lot of typos too, which needs to be fixed. Off the top of my head, I know that you spelled "forest" as "forrest" multiple times and wrote Aro's name with two "r"s. It's never explained why Jersey told Edward not to love her and then ran away.

Woo!, i got second comment Virginity!
haha, Anyway, i love it!! Update soon Please?!

>..<
>..<
>..<
>..<

Woot! I gots the comment virginity! I really love this series. It's just amazing and unique. I hope you update soon!