Eyes Shining, Watching - Comments

This was really good. I was a little confused at first and was thinking it was somebody else like Ray or Bob, but then you gave away clues that it was someone they actually couldn't see. I really liked it and how you described the sad desperation of her wanting them to see her, and the ?confusion? when they finally did. It was really tragic, but in a beautiful way. I love the way you write, so kudos to you!

Wow, that was really good!
You didn't use any complex language or long, vivid descriptions, but...
I don't know, there's just something about this story!

Maybe it was how you didn't reveal what the hell was going on at first, and we only gradually understood as the story unfolded. At first I thought it might have been told by one of the other band member. I never would have guessed that it was told from Mother War's point of view until you said the part about the album cover. Then I was just like, ''Aha!'' :]
It's a frerard, but sosososo much more than that. A billion times more interesting than the usuals. The ending was perfect, the little switch over to Gerard's view wrapped it up perfectly.
Lovely, keep it up.

That was awesome, different from what I've read before and I loved it! Well done xxx

Wooooooooooowz.
That was amazing.
I love the fact that you did it from a ghost's pint of view, and you got their feelings across perfectly.
Great Work :D

that was just amazing i loved it

o.o this story is awesome :) I love it