Heloise - Comments

Once again, the layout was absolutely gorgeous! And Heloise is such a unique and pretty name. Sounds so frenchie to me~ Anyways, I have a strong feeling that I read this a long, long time ago - it just seems really, really familiar to me. This was extremely striking; I'd expect Heloise to not feel remorse over what she did - thus being labeled a sociopath if she doesn't feel any remorse or empathy over what she did - but of course, Jazzy, you made her so real. I rarely have the honor to read about characters who commit a murder and feel remorse for it. Your characters are so freakin' amazing. They blow my mind!
Lovely job once again! <3

Heloise... What a name, and not one that I would want to be named.

It was striking.

That was harsh, but made for an interesting read.
"And revenge is even more of a bitch than Heloise." -- Favorite line, it pulls the first half together and kept me on the edge of my seat for what was going to happen.
You are very creative, I never would have been able to think something up even close to this.
Amazing (:

I have no idea how you can come up with such great stories. It's freaking incredible.

Oh my gosh. That was really intense!
It's so different than alot of things that you read on here that are all hooking up and boyfriend stories.
It's a very realistic story, and the concept of revenge is seen, but at the same time, you get a sense of surrender with the line "If she had cursed her brother with eternal sleep, the least she could do was shut her eyes and follow his lead.
"
I really enjoyed reading this!

"Piece of shits".

"Shit, shit, shit".

"Shit".

In other words, this was the complete opposite,

I loved this with more than a passion. Lust maybe? Can I have its babies?

Wow. That was incredible, dark and deep.
Your use of short sentences really gave this effect and built the tension beautifully:
"Shit, shit, shit, something isn’t right."
I love the italics.

I loved this, even though it broke my heart.
You pay amazing attention to the most basic of details.

I think I kind of understand how she instantly knew he was gone;
just this gut feeling right? Or I could be wrong, aha.

Anyways, it was lovely and tragic.
I think you did a stunning job.

And revenge is even more of a bitch than Heloise

If she had cursed her brother with eternal sleep, the least she could do was shut her eyes and follow his lead.

I fell in absolute love witht those lines. This was a perfect fit for a revenge-shot, and yes, you've aced your mission with flying colors. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

Heloise was a weird name, but you know, it fit her. (: I loved the intro to this, actually I adored the whole thing. Really the only thing I didn't like was the same thing silk tea didn't like. But all was good. (:

I agree with everything silk tea. said. Very good, very very good, but I didn't get how she knew instantly.
Peace, love, happiness, and equality,
MadisonLynn

My first thought was, Heloise is a weird fucking name.
I love that description of crashing. That was beautiful.
And I really liked this.
It was different, and not about the cliches that you see on this website.
Romance. Falling in love. Blah, blah, blah.
I like that it was about a brother and a sister, and their stupid prank war gone wrong.
The only thing I don't like is that automatically she knew he was dead.
I mean yeah, there's that twin thing, but I felt as though you should've had her check and like see his body or something.
You know?

But otherwise, very well done. I love your writing girlfriend.