Moonbay - Comments

I kinda like that we don't stay on one set time line though. Makes it more interesting. Love the update. Hope there's more soon! <3

you shoulllddddd keep going with this..hmmm... :))

:)
yes you are in.
sorry it has taken me so long to respond.
i was visiting a friend on an island for about a week.

Thank you for entering. :]

So, I read chapters 3 and 4 because they are the only one's entered in my contest. I thought that I'd understand them, but I fear that I didn't really understand them and had to go back and read the first two chapters. Your grammar could use a bit of work, more specifically when you use dialogue, you leave out comma's when the sentence requires one or when addressing people. I believe your second entry was better then the first, simply because it sort of explained it better and your first entry did, in fact, sound a bit more like terrified than it did cowardly.

Keep writing. :]

It's hard to read.

Maybe if you changed the layout .