We Are Nothing - Comments

Hm, I'm iffy about this piece. I like the meaning behind it. That the people who were otherwise made fun of for being intelligent and 'different' have congregated with the 'in' crowd. It's a great meaning, and a hope that someday the people who deserve to be noticed get there and the girl's that try to hard and are rude realize they're mistake. I definitely like the meaning, that's for sure. Just the writing is kind of...you have a great vocabulary and there are certain pieces that have excellent description. But there are parts that are worded oddly and kind of put off the flow you have going. Otherwise, it's a great piece.

Drabble for Drabble.

I have to say this was absolutely amazing. The emotions in this were so strongly conveyed I could feel them myself. How they were trying to impress the guys, and yet making fun of the 'geeks' laughing about something they've never watched. Yet, despite that, they secretly want to be them. And in the end the ones they called geeks were called over and accepted, and they weren't apart of the group anymore. They were cast out.

The descriptions were amazing, and they flowed nicely. I could picture this exactly in my mind, and it was realistic as well. I could clearly understand everything.

Especially this part: Our skirts would serve better purpose as a belt and our stocking have strategically placed holes in them that run up the length of our thighs so the boys can make “easy access” jokes we pretend to be offended by. I had a very clear image of your descriptions.

Amazing job. I really enjoyed this!

Drabble for Drabble

You're very good, especially with descriptions. They're straight to the point, but paint a clear picture in my mind. I also like the way you narrated it. It makes it feel more personal to the reader, in my humble opinion.

"The rest of the nerds have wondered over." Should have been wandered, I think. Other than that, the grammar and spelling was flawless. On a similar subject, I also enjoyed the sentence structure immensely. It was very easy to read, and kept my attention. I applaud you.

I love the point of view in this, like someone else said saying “we” instead of “I.” This is so interesting and the feel to it is really great. There’s a lot of emotion and personality in this, I found it to be very powerful and well written, especially for so few words. The title being incorporated into the story, especially as the last line, was something that I particularly liked, it not only just looks kewl but it really brings the story to a nice closure, a good circle effect. This story is really great and interesting and I liked that the main characters, our protagonists, are some that we don’t usually see in stories – we’re usually led to emphasize with the “nerds” as opposed to the type of girls in this story – a very interesting, well thought out pice.

This was amazing! I love the way it was written, and I especially love the way you've worded
the dialogue. Also, it's nice to see in a story that the "nerds" win over the ~populars. It's good
to see it vocalized - or written rather- that they don't always come out on top, despite stereotypical assumptions.

Well done.

Drabble for Drabble

Wow. I really enjoyed this. I love how at the beginning the reader is put into what seems a teenage girls mind. It is all very blunt but there is a lot of devout truth in it. For such a small amount of writing you manage to go from one point to another without it being overdone. I can see the imagery very vividly in my mind and your style of writing is great. The ending kind of shook me, it was so abrupt, and it just wowed. This whole story is very unique. Great work.

This was such a good story! I enjoyed the usage of first person plural, I wish I saw more of it, but sadly, that isn't the case. On the rare occassion I find someone writing in it, it's done poorly, as it can be difficult. You pulled it off flawlessly, dear. I'm impressed. Anyway, I'm rambling, I'll move on. The story itself was unlike anything I've read before. I loved the description of the group of girls you've given a voice to. I'm unsure of what clique they're part of, which is a gray area in what you think would be black and white. "Skaters go for the girls that are carbon copies of each other with anything they could ever want because of Daddy's money. If the skaters pay any attention to the geeks, it's for help on an assignment." Thats what the cliché image of high school cliques would be like, with nothing else to it. Your story, however, had, like I said, a gray area to it. I loved that. All in all, very good job with this m'dear. I think it'd be cool if you made a series, each drabble revolving mainly around one group of kids. Thats just a thought, though.

This was absolutely amazing, Catiee. I love the perspective you used, as if they're so much alike that they're not individuals anymore.
It gave a very different perspective and I loved the writing style. The imagery was fantastic.
I loved the line about the clothing, about the skirts being belts and the jokes that "we pretened to be offended by".
It was very, very good, and the perfect length to get the point across and yet keep me interested.
The line about the geeks had to be my favorite. This was absolutely amazing.

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Oh I have to agree this was something unique, something different. I think a lot of the difference is caused by the point of view you used, as the 1st person plural is rarely used. But you used it very very efficiently, because to me, it was the voice of a group, a voice of people who are not individuals anymore, but they blend in with each other. Regardless of whether you have made the group to be the pretty girls who get everything - or they are usually portrayed that way - but it could be any group whatsoever, any group of people who lost their individuality and now are just... there. I also like how you made the nerds to be those that are envied, usually portrayed exactly opposite way. But the thing is, life is not black and white and cliche, so this might very very realistic. And I like that a lot. I also like how you made this a drabble, because no more is needed, Great job.

Drabble for drabble.

This was written in a very unique style. I love how you made it the groups' point of view, saying 'we' and 'us' instead of 'me' or 'I'. I think it is realistic, and what you described is easy to picture in the mind.
The line "“Geeks.” We mutter under our breath. Secretly we want to be them." struck me as something that really defined the story.
The two ending paragraphs are refreshing, for lack of a better word. It's something that, for me, wasn't expected.
Overall, I think you did a wonderful job.