Liquid Smoke - Comments

Awesome story, I like it a lot =D

Nice layout. It fits with the picture – and it's readable!
“She lay in the bathroom, ignoring the bell that meant I had to report for my next exam” Minor error, I believe? Anyway, it took me a second read to actually get the whole story, but when I did, I fealt that it was really good. It was well written, and the fact that everything was realistic worked well. I also likeds the creativity of the title. Well done, dear. :)

:D Winners will be announced soon! 
http://www.mibba.com/forums/topic/157596/

“It’s my pager...I’m a burse at a hospital- in the anaesthet-”
Nurse, you mean, dearie?

Don`t worry about this being realistic. It defiantly is. The second chapter is good, her feelings towards A, are shown very well.

I read the first chapter, dearie.

I like this part. The monster over-coming the human. That is so true. Everyone has a monster inside them, they just need keep them out, keep the good there.:

The monster inside her laughed to think that it would finally come to a close.

The human begged her not to, in spite of it all.

The monster pushed the human down, with the happy memories of Sunday school, where nobody judged her. All that was left was the pain, the bitterness, the resentment.
She was going to get rid of it.

All because of one little secret.

I also like how you said, "cancer stick" Because it is so true, drugs are death.

Typo I believe babe. There is no period or anything: She never forgave her

Wow, this was intense.

Keep going, aye?

Gorgeous.
You write at the hand of paassion.
Crafted beautifully.

I really liked it. :) You'll probably win the contest.

thanks!

Mysterious, dark, and lovely.
(: