Forbidden to Fly - Comments

Holy! Actually, you have to continue! I sub XD

I really like this :) Good job!

I liked this. And I'm not just saying that, either. Your sentences didn't sound awkward and I didn't find any spelling/grammar mistakes.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way it is. However, because this entire chapter is pretty much the MC reminiscing on the past, I'd turn this into a flashback instead; take us back to where and when it all happened. It'd make everything so much more exciting, and I know you have the talent to do it.

Anyways, I like; I'd say continue with this.

I love the title, it makes me wonder what the story could possibly be about.

And also, I love the story. It's actually really different, which is good!

You're got a pretty simple but readable layout, and the title is also pretty intrigiung.

thus they prey upon the mortals.The mortals live in fear
In the summary, you forget a period between the The and the period.

White fluffy clouds floated happily across a sky so blue that made my heart ache.
that it made.

Only a year had passed of my captivity, and yet as the days kept going, life kept becoming dull.
I don't think becoming is the word, mostly because that would mean it kept starting, but you can only start once. So it would be became or was turning.

I had once been a magnificent Avian of the People of the Air.
Maybe an Avian who was a part of People of the Air, since you already used of the in the name.

Beautiful blue wings.
Lower case since it's a semi-colan not a period.

Other than that, you've got a good plot starting up here. The story has a lot of promise, and it's quite original too. Try going into more detail of the shame she's obviously baring, maybe her father's name was something important to her?
Like I said, you're got a great story, you can really turn it into something beautiful. :)

Dude. Keep it please.
I really really really enjoyed it.
Like triple time.

This is really creative and original.
I love that you created your own race of flying people
I only wish I'd thought of it first ;]
this is nice.
Keep this up?

You should definitely keep this up. I really liked it. It's very original. :D

I like the fantasty/ mythologoly feel. I thought the descprtions were nice and the plot is very original :)

This was amazing!! I really liked how descriptive you were. I think I'm going to subscribe!

This was so awesome! :] As silly as it sounds, it sort of reminds me of The Blue Bloods series; they're all angels in their former lives...
Okay, I'm rambling now, sorry xD
ANYHOO. I liked this like alot: It ripped my feathers from me, leaving the skeleton of my wings. Thus, I fell.
Lovely job (: I'm subbing.

Oh my god! This is awesome! Such a creative plot, and I love the whole mythology feeling of how his feathers were ripped off and he was left with their skeleton.

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!