The Heart of Everything - Comments

Can you finish this by CHristmas? x

I love how you capture the readers in your first chapter. Its got me hooked already :D
I'm still reading but your stories are well written ^_^

that's sad that the King did that, but I <3 your stories can't wait till the next chapter :3

I just read three chapters in one sitting. This story is magnificent! All chapters are equally good; you are a fabulous writer! Keep up the good updates!

*the

I love to story, I'm so hooked ^^

Gah! I am sorry I haven't been reading this! I don't usually check my emails, and I just looked at my subscriptions page and I found that you updated!

at the same time the sword smashed the floor where I lied on a second before.
Lied on should be replaced with was lying on

This was the only mistake I found in chapter four.

I just read both chapter four and chapter five, and I must say that they are marvelously great! I really liked the flashback of the killing of Max's family. I really feel sorry for Sophie.

Great updates!

I disgusted by how he say those words,
Was should be in between I and disgusted.

The second chapter makes me curious. It makes me wonder what Sophia did that tore her and Max apart. Well, great update!

hence I was leading a part of the army, to defend ourselves.
You can leave out the comma in this sentence.

This is the only mistake I found in the first chapter.

The first chapter was very good. It really set up the story in a way that draws you in. The chapter ended with an interesting cliff-hanger that makes me anxious to see what happens next.

=) I think that this will be a good story! You are good at writing the beginning of stories. Keep up the good work. This is the story you want a banner for, correct?

I really like the beginning, it draws you into the story. You hooked the readers really good!
:D I like it so far! I shall subscribe! :)

Interesting. x