August 7th, 2010 at 04:55pm
Sleep. - Comments
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;) ;) *knowing face*July 24th, 2010 at 09:56am
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I loved this. So much emotion and questioning packed into so little words--it's beautiful. You did a wonderful job capturing both the character's confusion and how it prevents her from sleeping through the night. A lovely piece overall.July 20th, 2010 at 01:23pm
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It was such enigmatic, gorgeous little drabble. For such a short burst, it was emotive and passionate in this lover's disarray. To be able to discuss that and to fully and beautifully transcribe a sleepless night with all it's aches and pains and repetitive thoughts so concisely and so concretely, it is wonderful.
However, I do think the "lack of poetry" as the ending draws closer is intentional. Like the narrator is waking up more, and the sunlight is catching up and the thoughts are more lucid and less pragmatic.
Gorgeous writing.July 19th, 2010 at 10:06pm -
This was awesome!
I loooove the detail and everything!
:D I feel like this sometimes as I sleep, so it's a bonus that I can relate to this.
Great job!July 9th, 2010 at 11:57pm -
The first paragraph was absolutely love.
It flowed so effortlessly, it was absolutely perfect.
As it continued it kind of lost that poetic feel to it.
It didn't have the same essence.
I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it because I very much did.
But it didn't fit in with that first paragraph.
The concept of this was perfect.
I love the way you write though, not going to lie.
I seem to have bipolar when it comes to you. this one sentence seemed a bit off to me. I feel like maybe saying I seem to be bipolar when it comes to you, would sit better?July 8th, 2010 at 06:13am -
Mm, lovely.
I really liked that :)
It was sad, and romantic, and perfect.
Great job overall.July 7th, 2010 at 11:27pm -
I love this. A lot. And it is good m'lovie, whether you agree or not.
Send some of your writing talent my way plzkthnx.July 7th, 2010 at 08:58pm -
You're a very descriptive writer.
I felt like I was the one laying on the bed, thinking about this mystery guy's lips.
It's really sad and tortured, and even though you know really nothing about the guy she's currently with, or the guy she wants to be with, I can't help but root for the guy she wants to be with, and I'm not sure why. Something pulls me towards the character, the writer, getting with the one whom has sweet tasting kissses, surely.
good job.July 7th, 2010 at 02:38pm
very good job:]