For some reason, I suppose that... Well. I feel like the Slender Man was... not a bad guy? 0.0 As weird as this sounds, and me being a romantic and all, all I can think of is stupid Jack the Pumpkin kind, and his tallness. And even though he had a face (O.O) I can only imagine (oh, no. the 'i' word) that the Slender Man is actually lonely, and needs to keep gathering children because they don't judge. And maybe wherever the children go, they grow up and he needs more children.
...I am looking WAY too far into this. WAY too far into it.
And this is not a Disney story. /headdesk Oh, imagination.
Dude, usually, it's super hard for me to get into horror stories. Like, I can't even read a Stephen King book without getting bored. But this.. This was awesome and I had no trouble getting wrapped into it. You're an awesome writer, seriously. Keep it upp!
You write the craziest things, I swear. I was hooked. I kind of zoned in, like I do with books, and this was all I could focus on. I think you should definitely turn it into a story! The way you write is so easy for me to read, I love it. :)
For some reason, The Slender Man reminds me of The Zodiac Killer, lol! I think organ fog would creep the hell outta anyone, 'cause I was sure creeped out. You have a thing for scary stories, don't you? x] They're all wonderful! Lovely job! <3
This was extremely frightening, but I could not stop reading! It was amazing, I love the eerie orange fog and the features that the Slender man lacks, it just made it all the more interesting. Though I don't really understand why it never took him away as a child. Why is it coming for him now as an adult?
it is a good story and I love the beginning of it. Very mysterious and draws you in. The idea is fantastic but I have a few nitpicks. Just a few. They are small but they may make a difference.
“and I couldn't get out of her why”- ‘I couldn’t get her to tell me why’ might be a better way of putting it “Turning back in front of me” – you didn’t indicate you had turned around in the first place but if you are going to say this maybe phrase it as: Turning to my original position. I don’t know the sentence doesn’t quite fit. Commas before ands. I know you can do it but you have used it in a way that doesn’t work in the part with the children. In fact you used phrases in commas where you don’t need to in some places. “turned slightly and I took” the and doesn’t need to be here it doesn’t make sense.
Shit! This was amazing. It scared me so much that I'm now afraid to leave the room, everyone else is gone to bed. D: Wow. Dude, that's like bhfsdkh too good for words. I shouldn't have read that now, I'm so scared. :L You have a really good way of describing things too :D Probably my favourite one shot I've ever read on this. xD
I feel dumb :P I just checked and it said your story was completed, so I assumed wrong. I think I only assumed cause it ended in a way that there could be more. It was still really good though
I really enjoyed reading this! It was written really well and it held my attention throughout. I think the descriptions were great. This was seriously eerie, but wonderful. I'm assuming this is going to be a chaptered story, so I'm going to subscribe because I'm curious as to what's going to happen next :] Excellent job on this.
Holy ball sac. That's really really frightening. It reminds me of the angels in Legion how they have unnaturally long limbs and their mouths stretch really wide when they scream. Scary as hell.
But seriously, I'm so glad I read this. It was...too great for words. Like Caravaggio said,your detail and the quality is incredible.
For some reason, I suppose that... Well. I feel like the Slender Man was... not a bad guy? 0.0 As weird as this sounds, and me being a romantic and all, all I can think of is stupid Jack the Pumpkin kind, and his tallness. And even though he had a face (O.O) I can only imagine (oh, no. the 'i' word) that the Slender Man is actually lonely, and needs to keep gathering children because they don't judge. And maybe wherever the children go, they grow up and he needs more children.
...I am looking WAY too far into this. WAY too far into it.
And this is not a Disney story. /headdesk Oh, imagination.
Excellent! :D