to say you never experianced anything like this, it sounds what imagine someone would what ever i dont make sense any way your a superb writer and i hope you keep it up
For someone who hasn't experience a loss like that - you've done an amazing job writing it. It's so emotive and completely heartbreaking. You can really feel the loss and longing in this. Wonderful job. Simply wonderful.
I folded your obituary and stuffed it in my pocket before I put trashed the box for good and sighed as I accepted your absence from my life. ^ I think you could remove the word 'put' from this sentence.
Other than that, the only thing I acutually would've loved to see in this would have been a little more background. Perhaps a memory of them before he died?
I can't find anything else that should be looked at. :) Your writing style is lovely even though this story was heartbreaking. I wanted to cry the first time I read this and now is no exclusion, aha. You have a lovely way with words. C:
This...this was amazing, and heartbreaking, all at the same time. I mean, I know so many people, myself included, that could relate. The way you wrote this, all of the memories and stuff, it was just perfect. Nothing was repeated, the pain was evident, everything flowed so well. <3
I agree with Novocainekisses. The title is perfect for the story.
And the emotions present in this one shot were absolutely mindblowing.
There's only one thing I can critique, and that is only the use of one word. I still saved it after the color of the string faded and it literally looked like something that belonged in the garbage. I'm just not a fan of that word. At least, not in this sentence because it works without it.
Gah. I loved this, just for the fact that it was heartbreak mixed with cautious hopefullness. It hurts so good when those two are put together, especially when the author gets them just so, which you did. Wonderfully written.
Wow! I couldn't believe it when I saw your note that you haven't experienced anything like this before. For someone who hasn't experienced anything like this, this was brilliantly written. You captured the emotions so well and the whole thing just had such a sense of resignment to it, I could feel everything, as though it had happened to me.
:0 Whoa. This was seriously killer. The layout - all a bit plain, but, then again, some of us can't do layout coding. (: That's always fine. The writing was amazing, though I'm not all for using you as the other character, and all. Just confuses me, for some reason. O.0 But, overall, I really like this. :D
This was good. It's hard accepting that someone is gone so I think she's brave. You did amazing. In the last paragraph ( I think) there was a line there that didn't make sense.