Fall for You - Comments

I love this story. You are a great writer. Please update soon.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry Ive been MIA My Senior year very stressful . Badass Chapters Hun. If you Don update soon I'll be heart broken

Love it keep going! : )

I've only started to read this, but it's got a good start. One thing I would caution against in writing future pieces is to introduce your characters in such a straightforward manner. Most 1st person stories are written so that each character is introduced in her own time, and the descriptions of them come out gradually through the course of the chapter that they're introduced in. Does that make sense? Try and make it so that it's more subtle, and not so much "This is Aqua. She's crazy, cute, and 5'8" in height. She has blue eyes, brown hair,...etc."

Instead, write it so that it's something like, "Even from this distance, Aqua's loud shouts could be heard clearly throughout the hallway. I looked up from my purse just in time to see her lanky frame skid to a halt in front of me, blue eyes wide with untold excitement. "Guess who I fucked last night. You'll never guess it," she stated, pulling anxiously at a lock of wavy brown hair."

It's more interesting to read, and gives the character dimension. On a separate note, watch your passive voice. If you're not to careful, it can get out of hand and eat up the entire story. Try and keep your action as active as possible. Again, it makes the read more interesting, and keeps writers like me from pulling our hair out in frustration. :P

Keep up with the writing, it's great. When I've got more time, I'll read the rest of it. :D

Amazing!!!!!!!!!!! Matt still is a Ass. Corey Sean seem nice now. can't wait to read more.

HAHAHA Mya Kneed Matt IN the Balls. LOL thats what he gets for being an Asshole. Keep on writing Girl! I LOVE IT XD

This Story Is freaking AWESOME PLease Update!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!