Dilapidate - Comments

Comment COMMENT!!

Thank you a-o-lot for the comments, I went back and looked it over thank to yu!:)

Chapter 06
Nice cliff hanger...I'm anxious to see where you take this. Keep writing! I didn't find any corrections in this chapter. You're doing a great job!

Chapter 05
You're tugging at my heart strings. This book is really sad, you definantly have talent when it comes to writing. Those girls who were talking about her have some nerve! If I was Dakota then they would have gotten a lot worse than a mere sentance.
I didn't catch any mistakes in this chapter; I congratulate you.

Chapter 04
I noticed the beautiful backgound. The picture is amazing, the type is a little hard to read but I think the it's worth the struggle to keep the picture. Dakota needs to get her head out of the clouds and snap back to reality before she hurts someone lol.

Corrections:
The guy who had curst at me. It's spelt cursed.

Chapter 03
That's depressing. Dakota's dad gave her a car and her mom takes it? That would make me so upset if my mom did that to me. Roy seems a little bit peeved about his fathers death but I can understand. Boys usually bury things inside while girls will visibly mope about it for months.

Corrections:
"two months since the incident and two mouths..." The word mouths sound be months.
An easy grippe steering wheel. I do believe you mean to say grip
Also Ray's name keeps switching between Roy and Ray in this chapter. You may want to go and take a second look at that.

Chapter 02
"A black moth of unmbrellas danced across the muddy grass. I love that line; it's well written.

I like how you protrayed her behavior at the funeral. It was what I would call very accurate.*long dramatic pause* Moving on, I noticed that you stated the chapter after the prelude as chapter 2. I do believe that the prelude is concidered an introduction, thus meaning that chapter 02 would actually be concidered as chapter 01.

Corrections:

I was falling bended and wounded. I do believe that bended should be changed to bent.

YAY:D THKZ!

nice layout.

Great story!!! please update

Yaayyy!! thank you soo much! it mean a-o-lot to know u like the storyy!!!! thank you ill correct them right now!!:D

-pat♥

Prelude
I love the intro, it's alluring. Makes me excited to see more! Also I hate nurses like that other one. People who only do a job for the money and have no sympathy what so ever! It makes me so mad! I love it *subscribes* Keep writing.

Corrections:
"Were the only ones." It should be we're
Matching scrobs. I think they're called scrubs.
I think of grey's and anatomy. I do believe it's just Grey's Anatomy, but I may be wrong.

Also you called the beginning the Epilogue. The Epilogue goes at the end of the book, I do believe your thinking of the prologue or the prelude. You may want to change that.