Dating The Mafia Prince - Comments

Update Soon . !

Constant caps should be a 'faut pas', plus your title is just a tad too long. (And by that I mean it's way long.)

The summary is one sentence. There should be a question mark at the end of it, because you end up asking a question.

You should put periods at the end of paragraphs, and you have punctuation issues.

The title gives the whole story away. When coming up for titles, for myself, I ask - would I see this as a title on a book in a bookstore?

“Bobby!?!?!”, I whispered into the phone That totally isn't a whisper. Again - periods at the end of sentences, periods at the end of paragraphs.

And, in the authors note - if you're a good writer, why do you have to show us the clothes? You should be able to describe them in words to your readers. We don't want to copy and paste links to see what something looks like.