2560 - Comments

I'm sure you've heard this before, but your plot is unlike any other I've read on Mibba. It's very unique, and very beautifully written. The part about Eva's hair being chopped off was amazing. And when Oli was never with another girl for long because they were too much not like Eva, I almost cried.
You have got such a talent. Don't stop writing, your talent is beautiful!

This story is breathtaking, really. Everything is captured perfectly. It's so sad and painful, yet so realistic. I adore it. It was the first story I subscribed to when I first joined Mibba all those months ago. You're doing an amazing job. And I'm looking forward to the next chapters. (:

I absolutely love this, I can't wait to find out what's going to happen, and it's different to anything I've ever read, in a good way(:

It is different, and I really like that difference ^^

i still love love love this.
Its not an ordinary fan fiction, and i really like that about it.
please update soon.

This is so sad. ):
It makes me wanna cry.
I can't wait for an update.

I almost cried. Almost. I don't want to compare this to several other stories, but Eva's narration does remind me of Susie's in The Lovely Bones. There's that same element of angry frustration, and you're willing for her to take action and get away. That's the sad part, how she's trapped. She knows she's still alive, and yet her loved one's don't. It's that desperate cry at the telly or at the newspaper, trying to communicate with them in some way. Ahhh, Nina, I'm going to probably bawl my eyes out all the way through this.

Mark and Angie are like your usual villains, not that it's a bad thing. They manage normal lives, but there's that dark side that's evident by the crime they've committed and the photo's of the strange girl in the hall. You've described them to look and be just like the average person you pass in the street, but they're far from it. I like the way you've got this down to a tee. These types of criminal can have normal lives and still have that sinister edge, my mum always tells me the Yorkshire Ripper was exactly like that, so I like how you've written these two.

The strange girl in the photo's brings up a whole lot of questions. I'm guessing she was their daughter, but how and why the photo's take a sudden end at sixteen years old is the mystery. I'm sure you'll reveal it to us, through their own mouths or by Eva finding out by accident. It's surprising how she's never thought to ask about the girl. She lacks in curiosity, and she seems to play it safe, or she did when she was free. The only reckless behaviour we see of her is the one time she tries to escape. It's like she's given up, and that's the part that saddens me. I don't want her to just give in and let Angie and Mark do what they want with her, I want her to fight back and stand up and try and get away, or get something out there so someone from the outside knows she's there.

My school uniform and my favourite coat were taken from me and presumably burnt. I cried a little, even though it felt silly and petty but the coat was one of the few things that I had left from home. It seems such a small thing on an event so large and life changing, but it's the one physical connection she has left to her home, her parents, Cheryl and Oli. Them taking it from her is their way of removing her from her old life. Taking her was the first step, then stripping her of all she had with her was the second.

It's frightening how they abuse her. I don't think it's just something they enjoy doing. They aren't good people, but I don't believe they get a kick out of treating her so badly. My prediction, which will probably be wrong, always is, is that they're taking some sort of blame out on Eva. She obviously reminds them of the girl in the photos, but she isn't the same person. It sounds like they took her to replace this strange girl and she hasn't lived up to their expectations, so they're just going to try and mould her into this girl. And on Eva's part, there's clearly been some resistance, and they're in far too deeply by the point they're using her as a slave.

It's so upsetting when she starts to justify her actions in the past. It's as though deep down she believes she deserved this to happen and has to clarify everything she did before, especially the bad. But she didn't deserve it. She's right to think that there's a deeper motive behind Mark and Angie abducting her. This doesn't sound like a random attack, and I'm really looking forward to seeing how it develops and finding more out about these two.

That last line was chilling. It's stuck since the first time I read it when you first posted, and throws all my predictions about the stranger in the photos off course entirely. I'm looking forward to the rest of this, Nina, it's still so promising and clouded in mystery. And there's the hope of Eva finally escaping.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. This one was a little depressing, but I liked it.

Amazing, again, I hope you update soon! I love this:]

It's like you read my mind. I wrote something about a missing girl for uni months ago, and I've been racking my brains for so long now trying to figure out a decent plot line, given the first attempt was a little rushed and shabby. So I'm looking forward to reading this and seeing what you'll do with the subject and how it'll affect the characters.

This first chapter was like a punch. That first line is really hard hitting. Most kidnappings start off as a usual day, then things suddenly take a turn for the worse. I like that you've captured that. I also particularly like that you go through the motions of an average day for Eva, it's like she was expecting something to happen, maybe not of the same sort of thing, but something.

The fact that she was kidnapped on Oli's birthday, a boy who she seems to be close friends with is heartbreaking in itself, but then she has Cheryl. The idea of twins being separated in such a cruel way is harrowing. It's sweet how close they are and have resisted their parents trying to separate them. It's nice that despite being identical, you've created them as individuals. They're polar opposites and it's going to be interesting to see how Cheryl deals with Eva's disappearance, and whether or not they have one of those weird twin connections and she has an inkling as to where Eva is.

But that day instead of meeting me she sent me a text saying that she’d see me at home again, she was going to walk back with Jack after his meeting. I think it was this line that makes alarm bells go off in your head. You've put a lot of emphasis on the day being the average Wednesday, and the fact that Cheryl isn't going to meet Eva throws a spanner in the works.

I guess the first mistake I made was to walk home on my own. This is the frightening truth. The amount of teenagers that walk home by themselves on dark and dull evenings is huge. It could have been absolutely anyone, but Eva just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's all down to a matter of chance. It's incredibly sad so far, with all the little hints you've put in about her mother blaming herself, how attached she is to Cheryl and how deep her and Oli's friendship runs, and the fact that she disappeared on his birthday.

The ending was perfect. The run through of the day and all the thoughts washing through Eva's mind was clever. In a strange way I like that there was no sense of panic. It'd be cliche, but at the same time, that's what I'd do. Usually teens would kick and scream, maybe try and wriggle away from their kidnapper. Her reaction reflects on her timid personality, maybe if it had been Cheryl, she'd have gotten away through her fiery attitude. We don't know. It's all questionning right now.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this. It'll be interesting to see how Cheryl, Oli and Eva's parents deal with her disappearance. I'm excited to see how you'll write this, I know you'll definitely pull this off, you have more than enough talent for that, it'll be good to see how it all pans out. And I want to know the motives behind her kidnappers actions. So many questions, Nina!

I like this so far! Sounds promising. :D Update soon.

well i was first comment.
>.<
we'll pretend like i was:D

first comment *dances,*
this is amazing, i love it.
i subscribed.
update soon?!

Hmm, I like the fact that you're not going to focus so much on Oli, but more on the kidnapping.
I really like this so far. I'm excited for more. (: