I was reading over this story (since you asked to be a beta). At first, I was just going to skim through a chapter, but after reading the long summary, I couldn’t just do that. I really liked the tone you set with that last couple of lines. And I think the title you have is very interesting and certainly unique.
The description at the start of chapter one was done very well. Usually, that’s something I don’t find when reading stories on Mibba, so it was very refreshing. I think you mixed in just the right amount of description in there to paint a good picture of your settings without boring your readers.
Ohey there, guys. (: I love this story, you're both great writers. The plot seems to be rather interesting, I'm intrigued. I honestly dislike vampire stories, but since this is like an alternate world, I really like it. Zane and Contessa are both cool characters, as is Darcy. I wanna see them develop more, 'cause you've started doing that pretty damn fine, gals. Keep that up; even the best-plotted story isn't fantastic without great character development. You've accomplished having what seems to be an amazing plot, so keep what I said in mind!
Ohey there, guys. (: I love this story, you're both great writers. The plot seems to be rather interesting, I'm intrigued. I honestly dislike vampire stories, but since this is like an alternate world, I really like it. Zane and Contessa are both cool characters, as is Darcy. I wanna see them develop more, 'cause you've started doing that pretty damn fine, gals. Keep that up; even the best-plotted story isn't fantastic without great character development. You've accomplished having what seems to be an amazing plot, so keep what I said in mind!
The description at the start of chapter one was done very well. Usually, that’s something I don’t find when reading stories on Mibba, so it was very refreshing. I think you mixed in just the right amount of description in there to paint a good picture of your settings without boring your readers.