You incorporated your word and emotion really well, and not in a way that was expected.
I couldn't find a single mistake; your writing was completely flawless. The only constructive critisicm that I have is that it would be better if there were paragraphs, instead of one big block of text.
But otherwise, this was great to read. Your sentences were short but full of emotion, and I felt as though I could picture the whole thing happening. I really enjoyed reading this, and thanks for entering it!
You incorporated your word and emotion really well, and not in a way that was expected.
I couldn't find a single mistake; your writing was completely flawless. The only constructive critisicm that I have is that it would be better if there were paragraphs, instead of one big block of text.
But otherwise, this was great to read. Your sentences were short but full of emotion, and I felt as though I could picture the whole thing happening. I really enjoyed reading this, and thanks for entering it!