I am Desire - Comments

This was a beautifully written piece. You’re imagery in coordination with the other description and sentence structure was what made it from something good to something great. Thought it was short you where still able to flesh-out a nice character and bring a stream of consciousness rather than a distinct plot, but that’s what confuses me. At the beginning of the story you talk about (alarm) bells and then when to change to sirens and beyond I got lost. The transition didn’t seem to make sense. Also, near the end you say: “ And I must steel myself,” I’m almost sure you mean “steal,” correct? If not then don’t mind this.

All-in-all good job. :)

I love the way you can capture one's mind without even going into detail as to what exactly is going on.

Thank you for entering!

This is really good. I loved it. Very insightful, very curious and enticing.

Really looking forward to your other stuff =) xx