Maybe She'll Notice - Comments

I like the idea of this, but it didn't feel like a whole story (or even just a whole scene). While I like what's here, it didn't quite satisfy me.

You could really feel his anger and inability to take it anymore- you did a good job.

The layout didn’t really strike my fancy, but the title sure did. The range of emotion isn’t very wide, but the fact that it is so angry is enough. You can tell that the narrator is sick and tired and that they want everything to be normal, to be noticed. It’s sad because there are people like that out there.
I saw a lifetime movie once called ‘In Her Mothers Footsteps’ this clairvoyant sees murders committed in the house she lives in. Once she finds the killer you learn that his mother tied him to the towel rack in the bathroom while she prostituted and he was about seven.
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I like the last paragraph, how the narrator became so fed up that they threw everything around and the last line made me smile. WAY TO GO! Make her notice you!!!!!!!

Awesome job!