A Parade of Intoxication - Comments

I enjoyed reading the prologue. It was filled with action that made me see it as a movie. If that was a movie, I would have watched it so many times that I would remember all the lines, just like I did with Queen of the Damned. You have to double read it though cause you left writing mistakes behind. You have to post soon. ~Marian.

I'm in love. <3 That story is mine.

You've got some pretty good ideas but you need some help with the technicalities - sentence structure (you have many run on sentences and incomplete sentences, fragments, etc.), paragraph structure (you are suppose to start a new paragraph EVERY TIME someone new speaks), etc. If you like I can help you edit, but it's pretty unreadable in this form and you're missing out on a lot of your audience by keeping the story unedited. There are also times when your characters seem a little two dimensional - they could use a little fleshing out. For example, who was Samael before Eliza? What were his hobbies? His life didn't begin with her although I'd guess it got better ;) I'm sorry if this seems like I'm being over critical, I'm just trying to help. Keep writing! :)

finally, you update! I've been waiting for chapter 97 FOREVER! Still, you haven't loss you magic touch, i still love this story. Haha, and i actually feel honoured that you mention Malaysia in the latest chapter since its where i'm from. I hope you'll keep updating. I can't wait to know the end :)

My names Eliza too! but i think you might pronouce it differently.

Again, phenomenal job! It's quite a twist to pull, but now gives way for other conflicts to come into play. I hope to read chapter 97 soon!

WOW.WOW.WOW.WOW.WOW!!!
I really have nothing more to say lol,I just finished reading ch.95 and I'm crying tears of joy,haha=')
It was unbelievably amazing,I don't even know what to say,it was PERFECT.All those scenes in which they start beating the crap out of each other lol,while pouring out their very soul and saying out loud what they feel were definitely among the best parts you've ever written=D
And the end of the chapter just made it ten times better..
THANK YOU for this,for creating the whole story in general=D

This story is beyond awesome. I check for your update like once per hour. Haha. Its truly an amazing story and keep up with the good work.
Although i was wondering is it already close to an end? :)

Lov your stories!! keep up the good work!!

Wow...
I found this story yesterday and I stayed up until 5:30in the morning trying to read it all. Eventually I had to go to sleep so I wasnt able to finish it until now...but damn was it worth it...
Just wow. Usually I try to write witty comments or try to explain why I loved the story so much but this one has just left me speechless.
It is truly amazing!

A truly amazing story,one that reveals a world filled with both darkness and light,hate and love,one world where nothing's as it seems,and finally,a world that might not be as perfect as the others want you to believe,yet it manages to remain a REAL one.

Beautiful story; it really expresses what a real vampire should be like.

Yay!I was reading your story on Quizilla but came here when you put up the notice on making a Mibba account!
thank you!I really love your story and I would hate if you stopped!
:D