Lust. - Comments

I kind of liked the colors you picked on the layout. Even though they didn't match, honeslty, I really liked how soft the contrast between the two was. <3 It was kind of cute, teehee. :)

Like Saul said, I'm not exactly sure about the punctuation in the title, but it's all good. :) It doesn't really stick out too badly at all.

Your detail. Don't even get me started woman. D:< Too late, haha, I'm started. :) I really love how thick and easy all this detail feels. Some writers (I can say this because I'm guilty of it (; ) try to cram in so much elegant detail, it ends up clogging up the mind when it's read. You however, you pulled of amazing detail quite flawlessly.<3 Everything flowed and nothing hitched at all. All the emotions and moments felt tangible. It'd be selfsih to ask for more, but I want to know about their family some more. D: <3

Like it was said above me, that man's a lust-monkey. D:
I'm really happy he stayed true to his wife; Ah! The power of love, gigglys.<3

This was a really nice read. :)

I wasn't exactly fond of the layout, I didn't like the colors, they didn't seem to match and with the picture that you picked they seemed a little out of place.

I adore the picture though, I think it's a very cute picture to be honest.

The title though, you're not allowed to have periods in it I do believe, I think it's a rule to be honest but I'm not completely sure

The descriptions that you gave were breathtakingly vivid, I loved them they gave me a sense like I was there.

I'm in agreeance with Terri Pandora to me not a single word sounded out of place. I also really liked the way that you wrote the man's character, he does come across as full of lust. I'm also happy that he didn't just cheat on her when his wife failed to give him attention, it makes your story unique to say the least.

Overall I thought it was just wonderful I really liked it =)

bloody hell
thats awsome
so well put
all thought out well
not one word sounded out of place
loved it

Aw, that was cute. [: It's very raw and realistic. I love the way you wrote his character, it comes across very nicely! I could feel all the love he felt for his wife, and I felt that it was amazing. Wonderful job! [: <3

Ooh I really liked this. It's good to see a man who doesn't just cheat on his wife when she doesn't give him physical attention. Anyway, you described his craving so perfectly. I've never encountere something like this, so good on ya! I just loved the emotion portrayed. So lustful but you just can't have it. Ahh, I hope the couple gets their sexy time eventually. Yes, I just said sexy time. Great story! XD

good*

i like this. its really goos so far. and its actually from a guys P.O.V. so thats cool.
you should make a 2nd chapter.

I agree with Gabby about the layout.

But this was really good. Really
You described the man's passion and longing for his wife brilliantly, it seems pretty realistic as well, couples do, indeed lose their spark after X amount of years, especially with a kid and all.

Agreed with Gabby about the text as well. I wasn't found of the layout either.
The story itself was great.
The descriptions and emotion was good. It's nice to know he really loves her.

This was one good drabble

:}

This was amazing <3
It's true that you see so many married couples seem to lose their spark after so many years.
It's nice to see it in a man's point of view - him still lusting after his wife.
I thought that you captured the emotion and the longing perfectly.
Amazing job =D

I really love the description you used in this. It's really good. Also, the way you explained his emotions and how she still shows that love for him, even though they're no longer very intimate, through her eyes. This is a quite remarkable drabble in my opinion. ^_^

I agree with Gabby about the text. It's a little hard to read the white font when it blends into the picture, but just adding a story area background can fix that =D

I really loved all of the emotion behind this, and I really admire the narrator. Most guys would get fed up and cheat on their wives, so it's nice to see that he truly loves her.

I've never read a story like this, and I think that it realistically deals with the changes in schedule and lifestyle that occur after having a kid.

Plus, I can really feel the narrator's passion and love for his wife, especially when he mentions all of the little things he loves about her <3

The link is really dark and doesn't pop against the layout, and maybe it's just for mine but when I read the story, the words cross over onto the picture.

Beauty. That's all I could think of when I saw your body.
Maybe it should be Beauty- or a colan?

Pale porcelain skin
comma after pale.

It gave me chills to just think about you, but they were good chills, I promise.
I like that. The "I promise". :D

Otherwise, it was really good. You describe his passion well, and you could real feel for the poor guy. xD
Great job!

Aw, I really liked this. I could feel the helplessness of the narrator and it felt so real.
I could almost relate to the character in the same way, you've definitely described this well.
<3