this is amazing! I love the plot and everything, but you could give the main character a little more, well character if you know what I mean. A little more description from his thoughts to give him more of a personality. Other than that it truly is a great story.
This is a really good story. I'm talking about one of best stories I've read on this site. Your grammar is great and the storyline is so unique! I'm definitely reading this to the end! Keep up the good work~!