Wolf - Comments

Please update soon! :)

WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO WOLF?!?!?!?!?
Oh, no!! What shall ever happen to them!!??

Update soon please :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UPDATING THIISSSSS.
But vkjdbrfh! What have you done to Wolf?! D:
Poor Wolf, poor Keegan! D:
Update ;)

I absolutely LOVE this story. I've noticed that obviously it's not been updated for over 6 months. But my goodness this is amazing!
Please update this, I'm so entranced by this story.
Your writing is fantastic, and totally worth staying up till 2am to read this and a couple of your others.
Update soon please!

I LOVE IT, i have read alot of stories on mibba and quizzilla combined, plus your everyday book and i must say that this is one of the most well written stories i have every come across! keep up the good work.

OMG! i love your story!!! i really love how Wolf is around keegan when they're alone, its so sweet XD
please update soooooon!!!

You shouldn't get sad over comments, besides are't subscribers better then comments? I don't know maybe it's just me. Anyways here'e a comment! Update soon cause I want to know what happens!!!!

Honestly, when I saw the layout I thought the quality of this story would be poor. It was within the first few paragraphs that I recognized how well the story is written.

It was with annoyed reluctance that Keegan slumped against a tree, sitting on the cold, wet grass. He hated being on guard duty, as nothing ever happened when it was his turn. He didn’t want a full on attack or anything but a little something would have been nice.

Those first three sentences lured me in. That's exactly what you want: get the reader's attention as soon as possible. "He hated being on guard duty" makes me wonder what he is guarding. A person? A jewel? A building? "He didn't want a full on attack" informs me that he is guarding something that is worth an attack. That is wonderful. Sentence #2 makes me question; Sentence #3 gives me a clue to the answer.

I like how it was similar to "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". You executed it well. I literally smiled when I recognized the similarity to Aesop's fable.

When the creature turned to him he gasped, the air choking out of his lungs. The eyes he’d imagined to be like strawberries turned on him he realized they weren’t. Even through the distance he cold see that they were darker, like half-dried blood.

I really like how he imagined the eyes of a demon to be like strawberries, only to find out that they are more like blood. I don't know how you intended it to be, but to me it was like the strawberries represented how he thought of false alarms as a fun game. Strawberries are sweet, delicious, and they represent how innocent Keegan thought of his game. Then when he faces an actual demon, he compares them to half-dried blood, showing that the reality isn't how he thought it would be.

I'm a little bit uneasy about the demon being called Wolf. When I came across his name each time, an image of a wolf popped in my head. From the title of the story, I would have thought the story was focusing on a werewolf. But maybe there's something I don't know yet. I guess I'll have to read the rest of the chapters.

When I came to the end of the chapter the first thing I wanted to do was move on to the next chapter. I'm suckered into this story.

And like Mrs Gey, I couldn't find any grammar, punctuation, or spelling mistakes.

Overall, the first chapter is really well done. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the chapters that are posted.

Hi ^^
I'm Mrs Gey, a judge for the Gay Fiction/Slash Contest.
Well, this was enjoyable to read, I didn't notice any mistakes and the layout is easy to read. ^^
Thank you for entering this, you're definitely in my top choices.
Winners will be decided soon....in the next few days. ^^

I thought this was extremely well-written. And your lines were great! You made it very enjoyable.

I’ll see you again. You’re a disaster waiting to happen. I don’t even have to try

I liked this line the best.

*pulls jaw off ground* Awesome. *drools*

I have to say, this was really good to me. I have a sort of soft spot for fairy-tales gone slash, and this was very well worth the ready. I'm surprised no one else has commented yet. <3

Very good job, and I'm definitely looking forward to anything else you write! ;D