Haven't had a chance to listen to the song, but I skimmed the lyrics and that went well. I didn't see any grammar/spelling issues, though I might have liked a little more artistry in the words. But other than that, the story was amazingly descriptive- vague in the right parts, of course- you twisted this story into your own and worked everything out extremely well. I could tell just in the way you wrote that you enjoyed writing this and the story idea was so intriguing! good job :) 88/100
I didn't see any grammar/spelling issues, though I might have liked a little more artistry in the words.
But other than that, the story was amazingly descriptive- vague in the right parts, of course- you twisted this story into your own and worked everything out extremely well. I could tell just in the way you wrote that you enjoyed writing this and the story idea was so intriguing! good job :)
88/100