P.V.A. - Comments

Okay I couldn't stop reading your stuff. Your writing style is so unique and I'm in love with it! If you ever publish I'd buy it. You have a slightly mysterious side to your writing that lets the reader fill in parts on their own, which is fantastic.

Its funny though, because usually I avoid anything romantic or heart-breaky like the plague. But you you write it in a raw way instead of fluff and sparkles. I can't stress enough how talented you are.

Prize Comment #1 (TeeHee):

I really, really like this. I like how in the beginning you call it a rollercoaster, because that's exactly what you take us readers on: a rollercoaster. A rollercoaster of emotions. In the first chapter you gave us a hint, and I really liked how short, sweet, and to-the-point it was. The second chapter you gave us a little bit more of your angry side, which I liked. The third chapter was my favorite...I loved the imagery and the huge metaphor you used. I love the last sentence too, the "And I wished I grabbed the wrong medicine so I could fill this room with jelly." Great sentence, and you're a great writer. :)

I actually really like this. I love the way you just don't even try to explain. You just say what you are feeling. It doesn't matter what people say or think, it's jut that you need to say it. And I can honestly respect that. I think my first chapter was the favorite. The third is the most descriptive but the first one I understand most. And the second one is beautiful like all the rest. You do very well at portraying emotions and feelings and should be quite proud of what you have written here.

I really do love this. Your character seems to have real feelings, and the reader can actually feel her pain as she talks about what goes through her mind. The metaphors are strong and beautiful and the writing flows incredibly well. Nothing is choppy at all. The first chapter sounded so real, like something I could hear an actual person saying to someone. The gelatin chapter was incredibly strong, and the imagery was remarkable.

The layout was beautiful as well. Stunning color scheme.

So glad I swapped for this! *Subscribe!*

The layout's super pretty, just saying.

I like the stream of consciousness feel to it, like you said- the word vomit. It gives it that sort of raw feeling, like I could actually picture someone writing it down, and even though it's not dressed up in some flowery descriptions it hits harder because of that, it just seems like a lot more real.

At first I thought it was going to be all cutesy and romantic but I thought the first chapter was really... clever, how you did that. I think that's the word I described it. Like, it fit really well into place. And I really like when things like that happen. In the second chapter, you say "something kind of fluid" it would be some kid, without the thing, just because with it, it sounds sort of awkward. The second chapter is a little odd, but still good. The water part sort of confused me, how you could stink... in water, but other than that, it definitely got a point across.

In the third chapter, you say "of the hairy fingers of the" and it sounds sort of repetitive, maybe you could rephrase that? But I do like how you sort of make her anxiety attacks relate to her sadness because the heart drips into her lungs, that too was really clever, and I really liked it.

Overall, it's short but it does bring a point across. If anything, there just doesn't seem to be much of a plot yet, but so far what you have has got a lot of potential and is really good. :)

[front=palatino]I love the layout! I love the passion you put into it and how short yet beautiful each chapter is. Absolutely fantastic![/front]

The layout is really nice.
I also like the description in describing the feelings.
It makes it seem so real, & I like that.
I don't really understand how the chapters relate, but it was still good.
Keep up the good work! (:

Awesome layout, first of all. The yellow really stands out against the muted shades and colors behind it.

The first chapter...my God. It's probably the most powerful, yet hateful piece I have read in months. I'm hooked, and it only took 46 words. Very well done.

Imagine yourself as something kind of fluid, but kind of solid. Try to word that a little better. It's a little confusing at first. Edit for clarification.

In so little words, you have me enthralled. I know exactly what you mean, even though you describe these emotions with such abstractionism. I love the metaphor of the swirling water and then...that's what it feels like to feel like crap. Teenager-lingo mixed with raw details equals pure bliss.

The third chapter.

My God.

Why aren't you published?

I love the layout, it's clean and simple with a splash of colour.
:D

Anyway, moving onto the story. Your first chapter was a little cliche, it was something that I've seen before, perhaps maybe rephrased differently but I love how it seems to go in a sort of poetic rhythm. Your second chapter was really good!

You managed to convey a lot of that raw emotion in such little space and words, and yet you managed to capture the scene of an entire relationship gone wrong.
I applaud you on that, well done. You have shown me that quality is truly better than quality.
:D

I simply love it. The tinge of flawless poetry is something you posses perfectly. Keep going, please. <3

I love drabbles :3
There was tons of emotion in this, I really adored it. And the layout is gorgeous.

Well guess what?

I hate you first.
brb in love
I'm going to go comment something else of yours, too, since this was super short. (:

Short, simple and sweet.

I adored that last line. Well done, love. <3

I would have to say that I really adore the layout, and the picture. They are both beautiful!
You have put so much emotion into so little words.
I love that you didn't give anything about the characters, only what the girl, or whoever, was saying.

That was good!!!! ^_^
I liked how this was really really short, yet it had so much meaning.

I liked the simplicity and the length of this.
It showed your emotions very well.
Nicely done. (:
Also, I love the story layout. :D

I wanted to check out your "First" and I'm glad I did. it was supershort, for sure, but I thought it was very cute and very honest.

I liked this, even though it was short and ended abruptly. I liked how you use repetition without letting it get boring or annoying- I love it when writers can do that. You managed to capture a lot of emotion in just fifty words, which just shows that quality is better than quantity. I also loved how you didn't give the reader any idea of who the characters were. I guess it makes it easier to relate to the narrator in a way, because a lot of people have been through similar emotions.

Good job! :)

I love how poetic you get. I reeeaaally like this one.

I just love the layout! It's gorgeous. The coloring, everything. When I saw the picture, I knew I had to read it. For so little as fifty words, you managed to capture an entire relationship in so little. The drabble was amusing and witty, with more than a hint of bitterness behind the light tone. I'm completely taken with it, I admit.

Your muse deserves a pat on the back. You're good at writing drabbles; even if they're only fifty words or so. I should really check out more of your stories; if this was any indication of other work, I'm quite impressed. :)

Oh wow, this is actually amazing. It's so few words, but you set up a huge emotion. Great job! And I really liked the layout, it was cute. :)