August 2nd, 2011 at 08:14am
I like this. I thinks it's because I read the other versions and I have background story almost.
Also, when you meant to put "show up", you put "shoe up".
I like it that he says "Jimmy fucking Falcon" like HIV or something.
Favorite line: "Sometimes I want to hate her... wrap my hands around her neck and choke some sense into her"
Invoking emotion from me, that is.. I like they way you don't sugar coat things.
Just because you care for someone, doesn't mean your feelings will reach them and I appreciate you touching on that subject.
Btw, I noticed some minor errors :
She wouldn't have to take her top of[ just to get some male attention.
Instead of, 'of' it should be OFF
Emily climbs into the front sear,
front SEAT
and that's all which I find exceedingly lovely, with the way most fiction is written on here <3