Foolish Lies - Comments

*from comment swap*
Layout: I really like the floral background, but I don't like anything else. 2/5
Plot: It was really cute, but not really that interesting to me. 3/5
Writing: Flows nicely. 4/5
Grammar/Speling: Not many mistakes. 4/5
Overall: 3.25/5

This was beautifully written. At first, I was expecting something totally different like he cheated on her or was a total douchebag, but it really took me for surprise. I loved the flashbacks. They really added a lot to the story and made you actually feel the love they had. I really, really want to read more of this :)

Comment swap sent me here.

Okay, so I have an intense dislike for Avenged Sevenfold, so I'll try and put that out of my mind when I'm reading. I haven't a clue about characterisation or anything like that, so as it stands, I'll be reading this as an original fiction.

I really like the way you tell the story. The sheer emotion between your words is really lovely to read, and the way you have Ara recount memories is just beautiful. Your description can be a little bare in places, but apart from that, I have no issue with it. I'm going to be really picky here, but when you say 'Val divorced him', I think it would read slightly better as 'Val had divorced him'.

The flashbacks to Brian and Ara's relationship are really adorable, and I love how you don't lump it all together, but intertwine it with the writing of the present time in short paragraphs. Your last line is quite possibly my favourite line of the whole piece though. You don't make it a happy ending, but it isn't a sad ending either. It really works well with the rest of the piece.

I think you've done a fabulous job, and I kind of feel bad now for doubting I would enjoy this simply because of the band involved. Well done! :)

Wow... You actually managed to make me shed some tears with this :')
This was just beautiful. Every emotion, every memory, every feeling... All that happened...
It was fantastic!
I'd love to know more about Ara and Brian, if there had been a full length before this one shot and before he... passed away.
And I agree with the comment below... With Jimmy gone I can't even think about any of the other guys having such a tragic fate... Oh, I don't want to think about that >.<
This was beautifully written and it was amazing.
I loved it, loved it, loved it! :'D

Comment swap lead me to your story and I am so glad that it did. It was truly beautiful and heartbreaking to read, so much so that I felt myself tearing up! With Jimmy gone, it breaks my heart to think of another of our boys leaving this world :(
You told a better love story in 1,989 words than Stephenie Meyer did in four books (though, let's be real, that isn't exactly hard to do, what with the total suckage that is Twilight, but the compliment still stands).
Also, I really like your banner :)

-From the comment swap-
Just wow. That was so sad and I was crying before I was even halfway through with the story. I felt so bad for the character and it kind of makes me sad that that's all cause I wanted to know more about her. Good job! I didn't find anything that I disliked about it!

You totally made me tear up. Fantastic Job but I should already know this.

Aw, I'm teary eyed. Great job hunny.

First chapter and I'm already addicted! =)
Very nicely written, and amazing plot! =)
Please, more soon?
Sincerely,
your newest fan/addict :)