Lovers - Comments

This was beautiful, every last word. :]

His skin on her skin speaks soft verses of poetry. Your introduction was poetry itself, and absolutely gorgeous. You grab the reader's attention immediately, completely breathless.

Her lips against his breathe Sunday morning cuos of tea and the heat of combusting stars. I think I catch what you're trying to say, but the phrase came out awkwardly and some readers won't be able to understand your meaning.

She can barely hear his heart beating against her head, for it's found a new chest to stay inside. That really grabbed me, and I love it. It tells the story and leaves with mystery. Your transaction was a bit strange, but I think you tried it in an original way, and I really enjoyed it. Slipping into three pieces of this, it was a great idea and the theme followed throughout. You keep the flower theme, along with fire, in the story throughout, which is equally brilliant.

She can’t feel his heart beating; she can’t feel anything. Eep. You brought the story to a standstill itself, and this story was utterly fabulous. The imagery was perfect and I loved every line. You did a great job and I can see the effort you put in to this.k
Great job, it's a beautiful piece of art!

This was beautiful, perfect imagery.
It was all at one lovely and heart breaking.
I especially enjoyed the lines between the paragraphs.

I really like this. I love the poetic nature of your words. I love the structure and repetition. It's beautiful.

Oh my God this is great! I love the banner and the layout and the nice, small, easy to read font. The story is amazing. I love the repetition, how you’ve used the same sentence structures and changed the words to give them such different meanings. It’s such a sad but beautiful and well written story – I absolutely adored it and thoroughly enjoyed the experience of reading this piece. I loved the way that you organized your story, separating it into the three distinct sections and using the lists to act as little barriers. This was absolutely wonderful, great work!

I really liked this. The contrast between the first two paragraphs worked really well, I could see the destruction in the relationship and you captured that so well in such a small amount of words. Amazing work.

This is really refreshing to me.
I've never really read anything like it.
It's really fantastic.

I read this earlier today and was going to leave a comment but because I'm not right in the head I decided not to. I had an excuse to read it over a second time though and I loved it as much as I did the first time around, it's just fabulous. I agree with silvertongue.'s comment 100%, it's like the evolution of their love and their relationship and it was just described so well and I love it. I always love your stories and I will never stop.

This is perfect.
One of my favourite drabbles I have ever read.
It was written so beautifuly.
You showed so much emotion in this piece.
Great job. <3

that's beautiful.

i think that you portrayed the progression of a destructive relationship perfectly. (:

OH MY GOD!
That was the most- - I don't even have a word to describe it.
I loved the way you separated it into different stages.
It was just great and amazing.