Born a Liar - Comments

Okay, wow. Amazing, really.

It's obvious by all of these comments how great your story was!
I didn't know what to expect when i offered you this title, but I'm so glad you chose it and I was able to read it. You incoporated it beautifully and it didn't seem awkward in any way, as some are apt to do.
creative with the truth that little piece caught me, and it almost seemed ironic, but I loved it- she was playing around the truth. I don't know her game, but he sure found it out! his ability to stay in control of himself, and her collapsing on herself in this mental...thing...it was amazing.
The details were incredible- the beginning grabbed me right away and I had to read it a few times, just because I reallly wanted to. Each line was new and crisp, words I had never read and words I ddin't know were going to come. I don't think I saw anything wrong with it, either- this was amazing!
100/100

The object of his anger was a petite young woman with chocolate brown hair and an innocent expression across her flawless features
I really like this line. :)

Holy Fudge Fladoodles. The ending just blew my mind straight out of my skull, aha. It's so surprising and yet, I feel like I should've seen it coming. In any case, I was so wrapped up in your amazing detail, I didn't. xD It was fabulous. :)

The layout was too dark for my taste, laying a strain on my eyes, but it was nice all the same.

This whole story made me brave enough to slap a bear. :) It was that amazingly written and the spelling and grammar were perfect.

Impressive Job. :)

:)

I'm inspired to write a mini review now. I hope I don't mess it up

Title
Made me go - 'Oh crap, someone's figured me out'
Good pick.

Layout
Not pretty, coz pretty makes me think of pink and flowers and butterflies-more like original.
Neat and doesn't disrupt the reading itself.

Banner
Great pick on the picture.

Descriptions
Perfectly worded, as always.

The object of his anger was a petite young woman with chocolate brown hair and an innocent expression across her flawless features.
^I could literally imagine how Natasha looked like.

Now when he looked at her, he could feel only revulsion. He saw past her long, curly brown hair which bounced around her heart-shaped face. He could see past those large brown eyes with specks of gold in them. He could see past those full lips and little nose and flawless skin. He could see past it all, down deep into her soul, to see the black mist that surrounded it.
^Another great example on your descriptions.

Story
Transforming a somewhat depressive, realistic situation into an almost satire. I liked how you wrote this out, again, but my biggest weakness was your descriptions. It had me hooked the entire time. Mibba's a little lacking of writers who can do descriptions without really overdoing them.

The ending made me laugh - okay, not really - but sort of.

"I left him," she sobbed. "He was hitting me."
^Natasha, you b*tch. Haha!

OH MY GOSH!!
THAT WAS AWESOME.
I AM SOOOOOO GLAD YOU COMMENTED ON MY JOURNAL, FORREAL.

That was unbelievable! The ending was just awesome and the banner? Wow.
All through it, I was hooked.
You got talent, yo. No joke.

-claps loudly and obnoxiously-

I'm going to try my best with my comment.
Title:
Very unqiue. It grabbed me in.
Layout:
It was pretty, it went well with your banner.
Banner:
It was pretty also. I loved it<3
Grammar:
I saw nothing that seemed to need fixing so... :D yay.
Descriptions:
It was beautiful how great your detail is. <3
he knew her brain was whirring, grasping a hold of more false tales to tell him, going over the web of lies she was dangling in, and she didn’t even realize. Loved it.
Story:
It was beautiful
The icy atmosphere in the room was almost unbearable, to at least one of the occupants. Beautiful way to start a story.<3
When I saw the end, I laughed in a way, but was like :O too.

Anyways.
All in all, great and beautiful story.

I hope that helped >_<

Title:
I loved it. :)

Layout:
Pretty. :)

Grammar:
:D

Detail:
and he knew her brain was whirring, grasping a hold of more false tales to tell him, going over the web of lies she was dangling in, and she didn’t even realize.
That's my favorite detail.
That's just amazing, I wouldn't be able to do it.
I love your character descriptions. I could actually see what Nat looked like, and a lot of people can't do that.

Emotions:
Amazing with the emotions, love. :)

Ending:
"I left him," she sobbed. "He was hitting me."
:0 <-- My face when I read that.

Overall:
Gah, this was an amazing one-shot. I do not like Nat at all. At all. I wanted to slap her.
Very original, dear. :)

The ending . . . Made me laugh out of disbelief honestly.
I know a girl like this. She's absolutely ridiculous, but I guess it's for attention. Everyone has their reasons.
I was starting to believe that she wasn't lying about her problems- Natasha that is. And that Danny was just paranoid and over reacting. But then the ending just proved me wrong and Danny right.
This actually amused me a lot. I love hostile-like situations. Gets you really into the story.
Oh, and can I just say, that your writing style is fantastic? <3 It truly is. Your description in this story is wonderful and the characters are well defined and obviously have their own personalities- even if one had been lying about everything.
This was wonderful!
<3

She didn't really care about anything he had told her, did she? Natasha must be a great actor, either that or Danny was just saying he saw humiliation in her eyes and whatnot. Whatever the case, I enjoyed this greatly. The ending was good as to whether or not the reader could actually tell if Natasha was a liar or not. Great job with this.

Wow, that ending was wow. This was a really good piece, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Your descriptions were amazing, and everything flowed really well. I loved the ending. It really tied up the story, and put everything into place. I'm suprirsed this doesn't have a ton of more comments.

BAHA! The ending was fantastic. Just that last line. Seriously. It made the whole thing. I was all like, "This is intense! I wonder what the truth really is." And then you gave me that line, and it just broke, and I laughed, because it's so ridiculous, and I know people like that. That's the real kicker. There's actually people like that out there. People who lie about everything for attention.

You made your character very believable too. Great job, my dear!