I'll be waiting by the swings - Comments

0.0 I wouldn't do it... I would stay with him till he dies.

Aww, so sad, but really emotional, and Mahalia's really gonna kill me when she reads the third chapter. TWT >W< Didnt know you had it in you though. HAHAHAHA

O-O Mahalia gonna hate me when she reads this.

Aaron, did you know one of my favorite characters name from criminal minds is named Aaron Hotchner, Man, he has such great hair! Great story so far! Grammar needs to be worked on but who isn't bad at grammar, I hate that subject X#X

Well, it's a very original idea, but there's a lot of mistakes. In the beginning, I'm pretty sure you meant "butt" not "but."

And some of the dialogue could be different, for example: “I missed you too Lynn. You know it looks like a rainbow threw up all over you, right?” instead of “I missed you too Lynn, you know it looks like a rainbow threw up all over you?”

Just little stuff and a bit of grammar, but overall it was pretty good :)