Reduced To Nothing - Comments

Aha, I really enjoy your chapter titles :) And I love your story as well, it's not...cliche romantic, it's good romantic. Your description actually seems pretty awesome to me...I'd rather people over describe than under describe any day :P My only constructive criticism point has already been mentioned, so....nice job!

I would like to point out that the layout is kind of boring, but other then that, I really like the story! You're very descriptive and I'm enjoying it so far. I would have to agree with superhuman. try not to use TOO many commas, but other then that, I really did like this :)

Keep writing, you're a wonderful writer.

Sorry for the lateness of the comment xD
I read both story`s like the one before this and I love it, I`m subscrubing! The ideas for it is amazing and the details is really admirable! I love this story and I like the layout. Oh and I like LOVE Hayden :3 Deffs subscribing.

(sorry it took so long for me to comment!)

I'm not that into romance, but I have to say that this is pretty damn awesome. I like your long descriptions, I'm a sucker for good descriptions.

maybe it's me, but the format is really bothering me. It's a tad bit difficult to read and distracts a bit from the actually story itself.

I don't really have that many criticism, only the over use of commas. And that's I problem I have too, so it's not huge or anything. Well since I'm about to go to school I cant read every chapter but I love it and I'm definitely subbing, so I can come back and read more! I love Hayden, he's a super sweet cutie that I'm sure every girl wants.

“Never leave me, Caris. Never.” Hayden whispered into the top of her head.
“Never. I Promise.” Caris whispered into his chest, breathing in his smell. They were both drenched to the bone, in the pouring rain.--I loved the last part. I wasn't aware that this was a sequel, but that first chapter was still nicely done. The only thing that I suggest is maybe making a better layout, other than the default one. Of course you don't have too :3 Nicely done<3

Thanks guys (:

Well written, and it keeps you absorbed. I haven't finished yet, but I like what I've read so far.

This story sounds really intersting. And you didn't mention the it being a sequel in the journal! Or did you? Well I am going to subcribe, because this caught my interest, though it may take me a while to read it because I want to check out the first part to it.

Last one! I promise! I got waaay too into this story...

I will leave you with this: I love the way you end the chapters. A lot of writers just kind of let things drop off, but you actually have an ending. Things feel complete, yet you want to come back for the continuation. I have no idea if that makes any sense, but hopefully you got something from it!

I'm done now. :) Sorry I murdered your comments section!

No, I never get sick of the people that can help!
Thanks, I never really notice, I always miss words, then miss them when I go back and read it over. I've changed it now, though.
Also, I get waaaaay too caught up in my descriptions, I really like people knowing what my characters look like, but from now on, I'll try and keep the descriptions less... Detailed.

I'm sure you're getting sick of me by now, but I promise! I have constructive criticism about chapter three!

First off, you used "and" instead of "in" in the very first sentence. I'm just pointing that one out in case you want to fix it, since it's literally one of the first words that anyone will see. My next bit of criticism involves your tendency to describe characters before they're actually introduced. It's not necessary to tell us what they look like unless they're actually physically THERE. It's an interesting concept, but it just feels like blocks of description that don't fit.

Again, I'm just picky. Awesome story! I can't wait to move on and see what happens next!

Kat.TidusXYuna This is the sequel to another story that I wrote a while back. They met in school, and... It's just a whole big long story, it's probably worth it to read Reduced To Tears first if it's hard to understand.

AnneAlysse Thanks (: I'll try to work on my over descriptiveness.

I didn't plan to comment again so soon, but I wanted to point a couple of things out in chapter two.

The way you describe Hayden's eyes and Caris's at one point is a little bit over the top. "Deep chocolate pools" and "shiny blue gems" seem like overkill to me. The way you describe their kiss - the whole concept of "asking her permission to enter" with his tongue - felt the same way. Both were overused methods of description.

But I'm just picky! Other than that, I'm finding the story pretty good so far. I'm liking the concept. :)

First off I must say I'm no exspert on giving good comments/feed back but I did like the story it flowed well :)

Frankens Bay Park. Laughter swelled out, two teenagers chasing each other about in the midst of Winter, in the pouring rain, wearing shorts and t-shirts, never feeling warmer.

I'm thinking instead of a period there should be a comma at the name of the place then all the describing and then end it with a period. Also how do these two know each other and become so much in love?

X3 I started on this one, too...I read the first chapter of the other story, but I find that this one already seems better in comparison. I've only read chapter one thus far, but I'm betting the rest are going to be awesome, too!

well, it´s the sequel, but for a strange reason I started here, so I´m not quite sure of some things, yet it´s a good story. I love the music detail in the raining park, it´s so romantic x]

I just read the first 2 chapters, though =[ I´ll try and read the rest tomorrow, or on thursday!

Woo! First comment. Surprised I'm the first to comment on this. It's really good Eva. Loving part two. <3