Don't Be Scared - Comments

Oh wow, I loved it!
You don't get many truly chilling stories on here but this one made me shiver.
It def got me hooked and I just couldn't quit reading.
I think this is one of those stories I could read again and again without getting bored.
Incredible :)

:D I liked this quite a bit.
I knew something was going to happen, she should of listened to Matt!

So the ending was a bit scary, the whole thing sort of gave off that vibe though so it didn't surprise me. There were a few grammar errors here and there, but nothing major. I think her brother was a bit childish but he proved to be right in the end anyways.

Good job.

Why did I read this before bed? :(
This was truly scary.
The summary and layout alone freaked me out and I was daring enough to read on. XD
Damn, you really do have a way with words and this story just hdshf *shivers*
Anyway, great job. <3

Holy shit.
This was really good.
When Matt was like "Manda" and moaned.
I was like oh god.
And then when those monsters started coming, I felt all kinds of chills and I felt so bad because Matt had warned her, but she had to keep pushing it of course!
Now I'm dying to know what happens if she's really dead or what the heck is going on!
So I'm subbing.
:D

“I’m not a push-over, I just don’t feel like dying tonight.” loved that line :D

DUDE HOLY FUCK!!! I LOOOOVVEEEDDD this.

It was awesome. The layout was pretty cool too. I likedhow even though she was going to die she still tried to comfort her brother.
You did an awesome job and I really liked th end paragraph.

Those bastards! They gutted her while she was alive.

And what a stupid ass for taking her brother to get butchered!

You did a great job. The descriptions was cool, the way you led up to the event was great and it was just....damn man poor kids. It has to be hard to say "everything will be alright," and known it's a lie. You did a fantastic job.

Those bastards! They gutted her while she was alive.

And what a stupid ass for taking her brother to get butchered!

You did a great job. The descriptions was cool, the way you led up to the event was great and it was just....damn man poor kids. It has to be hard to say "everything will be alright," and known it's a lie. You did a fantastic job.

“ Their coming!” He cried”
You used the wrong type of “they’re” :)

So honestly, I just kind of wanted to see my competition for the Monster Mash contest. You stole the picture I wanted, by the way xD

Anyways, this, as always, was brilliant. It was twisted, sick, creepy in the beginning, but intense and heavy in the ending. It was realistic, descriptive and I could never expect anything less from you.

You have some serious talent, m’dear <3

Yes! I love dark stories like this! :)
Right off the get go, I was thinking that this was going to be fantastic! I couldn't believe how it went from something so innocent to the Amanda's downfall.
Is it freaky that my fave part was when her innards were ripped out? That was friggin' brutal! Loved it. :3

This was interesting if not chilling. Even though your flow was choppy and the events seemingly random, I enjoyed reading this. :)

I only found a few stand-outish mistakes:

I just don’t feel like dieing tonight
I think 'dieing' should be dying.

Men in black ropes that came to a point at the top
I'm not sure if this should be robes?

to see him be handed a large knife.
This would flow better if it were something along the lines of, "to see the man being handed a large knife."

I really think the girl should've listened to her little brother, aha. The whole situation could've been avoided, but then again, if that were to happen there'd have been no story.

The layout really set the dark mood for this--it did it's job and was very accenting and easy to read.

Fabulous Job. :)