September 11th, 2010 at 05:54am
The layout is very cute and quaint and the picture is very pretty.
I think this didn’t flow very well. In my own opinion it flowed awkwardly and could have flowed better. Don’t take it personally, most do, it is how I personally read. Others might read it differently.
However, where it didn’t flow well, you certainly made that up by painting a good picture in my mind of the scene. It’s like I can see the beach clearly and all that you described.
I think you did a good job because for most people, including myself, the ocean is a place of serenity, where people can relax, calmly think things through, or forget about them for a day while they have fun. It’s different for every person but I like how the narrator describes what the beach holds for them. It makes the drabble more personal.
All in all, you did a fine job.
I decided, I would take to the ocean.
if you published a book of just your drabbles, I'd buy it in a heartbeat, because this is so good.
You have a poetic way of writing, and it's unique.