Trouble from the Start - Comments

  • Snow Horror

    Snow Horror (100)

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    ummmm.... new chapter pleases? I'd very much like that... XD
    November 6th, 2012 at 02:32am
  • BabyKakes

    BabyKakes (100)

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    Hey dude fucking love this chapter, but.... im confused, when i looked in the characters page i saw Ryann, and Andy, then is said that Ryan's text is in red and then Andy's text is in blue, whos the teacher? are these two characters friends, or are you writing the kind where your the main charater? this is good i was jsut confused, help me out?
    Lava,
    Your Biggest Fan.
    September 9th, 2010 at 11:17pm
  • visionxofxme

    visionxofxme (100)

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    It's not too bad for the first chapter, a nice opener. Now I am curious about the new teacher... :)

    One suggestion I have, break up the text conversation a little - line breaks - because then it makes it a little easier to read.
    September 9th, 2010 at 07:43am