First of all, thank you so much for joining Lili and I's contest, and also for getting your entry completed in time. It definitely shows your maturity as a writer, and we both greatly appreciate it. I also would like to apologize for the wait on your review. My life has been crazy, but here we go now! (:
I enjoyed the shortness of this entry. It was refreshing and simple to read, for sure. I must admit that I found the point of view to be a bit confusing at first, but once I went back and read the first paragraph again it was okay. I liked your description of the club scene, I think you did a great job illustrating the setting of your story.
Your secret was also show cased well within this entry. As a reader, it was easy for me to see and feel the conflict that the protagonist felt over his hidden secret. I do wish that his twin was discussed more though, and maybe more turmoil could have been described? The way you ended the story made me feel as if something was missing. I think that maybe more could have happened with this story, although I do admit to liking cliffhangers here and there.
All in all, good effort on this entry. I can tell that you tried really hard on this, so thank you for that.
Once again, thanks for joining this!
Good luck. <3
September 19th, 2010 at 02:07am
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Secrets Can Only Be Secrets For So Long
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thank you so much for joining Lili and I's contest,
and also for getting your entry completed in time.
It definitely shows your maturity as a writer, and we both greatly appreciate it.
I also would like to apologize for the wait on your review.
My life has been crazy, but here we go now! (:
I enjoyed the shortness of this entry.
It was refreshing and simple to read, for sure.
I must admit that I found the point of view to be a bit confusing at first,
but once I went back and read the first paragraph again it was okay.
I liked your description of the club scene,
I think you did a great job illustrating the setting of your story.
Your secret was also show cased well within this entry.
As a reader, it was easy for me to see and feel the conflict
that the protagonist felt over his hidden secret.
I do wish that his twin was discussed more though,
and maybe more turmoil could have been described?
The way you ended the story made me feel as if something was missing.
I think that maybe more could have happened with this story,
although I do admit to liking cliffhangers here and there.
All in all,
good effort on this entry.
I can tell that you tried really hard on this,
so thank you for that.
Once again,
thanks for joining this!
Good luck. <3