False Insanity - Comments

So... it's interesting. There are some small grammatical errors that I picked up on, but nothing major.

It's simple, but I think that might work with the way you're heading in the story.

You portray her denial well.

I think I fixed most of the errors.

I love how you make her in denial, and I really love the concept of it.
I really don't mind grammar errors, 'cause like, I do them all the time myself.
Nice cliff hanger in chapter one and two. Like, seriously.
This is very simple, but I too am a fan of insanity <3 nicely done.

So I'm a really big fan of insanity. It's kind of like my obsession.

This is an interesting concept so far. Reminds me of this urban legend I heard once, where I woman was mistaken for an escaped mental hospital patient and forced to stay in the place for several months. Very creepy.

The most intriguing part is that it's possible Andrea could be an unreliable narrator, and despite what she claims she really IS crazy. But who knows? There's still so much more to see.

As much as I like the idea, I have a few little issues. Being someone who has, shall we say, some personal experience with therapists, medication, and general stuff like that, I feel as though a few of your portrayals are a tad inaccurate. I feel like Dr. Welsh is a bit too stuffy and mean; I get that's she's supposed to be a figure of authority (much like Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest) but she needs a few redeeming qualities so she doesn't come off as a one dimensional villain-type. If you want to do an accurate portrayal of mental hospitals, I suggest you do some research. Watch movies One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and Girl, Interrupted to familiarize yourself with that whole sort of thing, or even go onto YouTube and look for interviews or surveillance tapes from actual hospitals.

Or you could just ask me, because I know a disturbing amount of facts regarding insanity and the treatment of it. :)

Good job sor far, and keep writing!

I love this. Stories about insanity really hit my soft spot, so amazing job.

There were some errors though, like “You’re not taking me anywhere.” She said defiantly.

That's not the only one, but see, after a sentence, instead of a period, you put a comma. So the correct way would be

“You’re not taking me anywhere,” She said defiantly.

See? Simple! ^_^

But otherwise, this was really well done.

Thanks. :)

what errors were there?
so I can fix them.

There were a few grammatial errors but other than that an extremely interesting story. :)

I like how she continually hangs to the slim thought that she isn't crazy. It makes the reader
more interested in the story because obviously the sane do not question their sanitiy, and they're no anxious to find out why the girl is in this place.

Your detail is nice and the characters seem very realistic for the most part. :)
Nice Job. <3