September 23rd, 2010 at 10:43pm
This was beautiful, I loved how you wrote this, your tone was magnificent and I stayed in tune with it till the very end. I loved the narrator and how she described everything. This was perfect, this is love.
Favorite line: I think of suitcases and smiles, stuffing one more book into the overnight bag. & The air would suddenly turn clean, get crisp, and I would always cough, my lungs slowly forgetting the acid kiss of exhaust fumes and hot dog stands and people, people, everywhere.— and you say I have a way with words, yeah whatever
First off, I really love the banner. That picture is gorgeous and I love the font you used for the title. Very nice.
The line, We never planned much, not for those weekends, no. It was just us, the station wagon, the dog, and the cabin in the Catskills. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and I don't even know why. And it's also really nice that the title is almost an alliteration -- it's so nice to say it out loud.
Oh my god, Katie. This entire paragraph, We would drive out of the city, skyscrapers fading into suburbs and suburbs bleeding out until they finally gave up, gave into the wilderness. The air would suddenly turn clean, get crisp, and I would always cough, my lungs slowly forgetting the acid kiss of exhaust fumes and hot dog stands and people, people, everywhere. The road would get steeper and we’d start seeing those signs, the ones with the jumping deer on them. is so fucking beautiful. You don't even have much physical description but I can imagine exactly where they're going, from the city to the wilderness. I love your vocabulary, especially the acid kiss of exhaust fumes...
I absolutely adore the description of the cabin. It sounds so homey and it was just incredibly nice to read and imagine this wonderfully little old cabin in the woods. And I love, When we left that afternoon, packed the car and gathered up Bruno and rode back to the city, we had no idea what was gonna happen to us. That line is stunning.
Katie, your writing is absolutely ridiculous (in the best way, of course!). You are so, so, SO talented. The ending was so sad but the last single line kind of resolved it and made everything okay. It's funny how one line can change a whole mood of a story. You've packed an entire full-length story into a single little one-shot. And you did it fantastically. And it takes a lot to do that! It's hard, but you did it flawlessly, Katie. This was so beautiful.