The Walls Have Ears - Comments

I read the first chapter so far, and I think it's adorable. I like how it's written from a boys perspective, most romance stories that I've read on here that aren't slash are written from the girl's point of view. I like it! Though I'm not super fond of the layout.

The quote in your summary if very cute :]. I've heard it before, and it always gets me in a better mood, it's a good quote. Also, the layout is nice! It seems like it's kind of a darkish, that's my first impression from the layout.

I'm learning about that in class right now! Chemistry sucks :/. Kay, so Jackson likes the girl named Rylee, so are they together? He seems like he really likes her, so that's good. THis is a great line xD "that would turn a normal teenage boy into a wild sex animal." haha. Wait, so whos this morgan girl? I'm so confused :/.

Okay I'm starting to get it, Jackson likes Rylee, but she does't know who he is. And Morgan likes Jackson, for his sex. I think it would be a good idea to have a Rylee P.O.V sometime, that would be cool to see how she feels.

I agree with featherless biped. about the fluidity. Like she said, imagery is important. The best thing I've ever been told was to use useless details. Really, really useless, like the colors of the lockers and such. The fluidity issue made it a bit hard to keep reading, but otherwise, the story is really cute and I enjoyed reading what I read (:
I'm subbing and am looking forward to the next update <3

I only read the story, but I have my comment.

Your story lacks fluidity and you simply try to put too many descriptive words into one sentence.
Find the flow, use it. Otherwise things are choppy and distracting.
Imagery is important, but I'm not getting yours.

I know the first sentence is the hardest, but be calm.
My favourite book of all time starts with: "Strip check. Oh fuck."

It seems really cute though!

I really like how you're writing this from a boy's point of view. It's always been harder for me to have the main character as a guy rather than a girl, so kudos on that.
I was actually thinking along the same lines as [b[Nympho;;, that the boy was some loner type, so that was kind of surprising.
Keep up the writing!

I love the picture in the layout, it really suits the story. You have some good vocabulary missy. (Yes, I notice stuff like that...) and your descriptions are wonderful. They were simple, yet the words choice you used made it seem complex in a way. I really love the ending to this. I really do. I love you, Rylee Sampson… forever. I will never give up. These seven paragraphs left me with some questions-which I love-and because of that, I'm going to subscribe. Nicely done. <3

I feel this story has potential. I am going to subscribe.
Anywho! I think the only problem I have with this is the layout. The background picture makes it a little hard to read, but it's okay.
I like how this story is about a guy liking a girl. I think. xD Most of the time it's about a nerdy girl or a shy girl who likes this outgoing boy. So, good job on the originality.
Good luck with this! :)

Hi. I actually like this story, I think the chapters should be a tad bit longer. But other than that, amazing!!! lol :) Are you doing a character page? If so, you can check some of the pics from the characters in my stories and see which ones you might want? lol :) Good luck and it's an awesome story idea!

Cute ! Very cute ! Short chapters , which is never a bad thing :)
Keeps me longing for more updates :)
Funny ... the first chapter , I thought the guy was like some nerdy loner boy who had no friends or what so ever . And then in the second chapter when you mentioned his girlfriend (?) or Morgan anyways running her hand up his thighs ... I was like "Whoaaaah !"