I'm going to start by saying that the title gave the plotline away, and maybe could of been a little more creative. Personally I find I'm always attracted to a title that intrigues the reader and is kind of vague and mysterious to the plotline.
So, i'm going to be honest and offer constructive criticisim. This is not a story I would generally pick out and read myself, for one being that the plotline of a girl being allowed to attend an all boys school, when it's all boys, is a little cliche to me and I personally would not be able to take the plotline seriously. If you had of had her going to a normal co-ed boarding school or all girls, then I probably would of believed it more.
You've got a few spelling and grammar errors, nothing major, but they just throw you off a little as you read through. Also, I think there is a grammar area in your story's title, where it says "attending All Boys Boarding School?!" should there be an "an" there?
A big plus for description. Description is the best for a author, although you should work more on your imagery. I find that if I can't find a better word to desribe something, the thesaurus is my favourite place to find one. The reason why I say this is because in the first couple of lines I was already put off by your choice of describing words: Looking out the window all I saw was fields that were the unusual shade of green of bright green. Perhaps, instead of using "unusual shade of green or bright green" a better word could of been used. Or maybe if you threw in a simile like; "The fields were that unusual crisp shade of green, like the bright shade of green on a Grandmother Smiths apple." That's probably not the best example, but it makes it a little more interesting.
You gave background information, which is good. It always gives you an insight into the character and their past, and is important for understanding a character.
I don't mean to sound critical, I hope you can take this as constructive criticism to help improve your story because a lot of people seem to enjoy it, a lot. :]
YAY...i love the story ash and im uber happy that your doing better...^_^ it was very interesting from jesse's POV and i think you should do some more like that...maybe
I t was awesome.:D