Pressure - Comments

I love the introduction, with the brief mentions of the characters and the leading questions - why does he wish they hadn't gone? Who is this girl? Why is she in hospital? What happened? It's all brilliant for a prologue, really sets up the story.

I like the large jump in time, it gives the story a lot of potential and I'm interested to see what happens within that year. I like how it's relating to music again, it's a nice link between the prologue and first chapter. I like how natural the dialogue is, and how the characters interact really naturally. Your descriptions are nice and clear, I can picture the whole thing in my mind.

It's only in the second chapter that it was confirmed to me it's an A7X story, I was beginning to think that in chapter one, but you've made the characters your own and it's easy to read this as an original fiction.

This has great potential, keep writing!

FIRST OF ALL......i do not smell like pickles.

SECOND OF ALL.............I really don't smell like pickles >:(

THIRD OF ALL.......I loved it! :) i'mma update you're story soon :3

Where's my story ho?! lol

"and I raised up my hands and mouthed ‘bring it, bitch." that made me lawl :)

and yess I am happy buhahahah >:D I'mma finish the chapter in my story now <3
love you :3

update this one >:/

Jew! I wanted to be the first comment lol jk o.o

Love you jess :3 and I'm guessing Zacky got someone's eggo preggo :0

It seems like it will be really good as it goes. please continue writing i really ejoyed reading the stuff that you had up already :P

*FIRST COMMENT OH YEAH!!!!!*