I like it. <- you must read that in my voice super fast. Like a tempo of ten beats per second. Like Twista. Anyways moral of this comment: say it fast. in my voice, but also a funny accent. Oh and that I love it.
I really liked it. The detail was nice, and I love how you didn't make the girl guilty persay. She obviously is a bit roughed by doing it but in the end it's kind of obvious she's going to anyhow. Lol. I really liked this. :D It would be an epic chapter story too!