Waving Goodbye - Comments

This sort of reminded me on 9/11. Because I've so often wondered what the men were thinking when they crashed the planes. I wonder what the people inside the buildings were thinking, you know?

I think you did a fantastic job with this. It's very descriptive and emotional. (:

This was tragic, and really powerful. It's odd to come across stories like this, realistic stories. And the fact that it was patriotic made it seem even more original. It was really well written. The commander is a total asshole. Hmph. :l

Great job. (:

I really liked this! It was well written and it was just so sad and tragic and all. And like BababaPancakes I too like how the title tied into the story at the end.
Good job!

Wow, this was touching, tragic, brilliant, all in one.
I like things like this, and the layout was simple, though when in story format, you couldn't see the flag.
Great job :)

As tragic as this was, it was brilliant.
I love how the title of the story tied in to the ending.
Loved it.

This is really sad.
I love the patriotic theme in the story though, you don't see many of them on here.
Ugh, I can't express how touching this was.

I like the american flag in the corner
oh gosh, I have an idea where this is going,
i think this is a suicide mission :/
what?! this guy is okay with killing people, for one thats wrong,
but hes completely okay with killing tons of children?!
i really dont like this captain, hes a jerk
he went into the buildng, thats sad :[
i can not even imagine doing something like htat,
for one, killing yourself, then killing tons of innocent people on top of that,
especially kids, who havent even gotten a chance to live yet
this is really well written, but also sad :[

I agree with everyone above me, haha. Good job. The lack of a layout puts me off a little, but other than that, great job!

aw man, that made me all mushy D:<

seriously though, this gave me the shivers. And like everyone else here, I think it's powerful. The ending was like "KA-POW!" epic on so many levels.

I loved this.

Wow. Shivers just ran up my spine. This here is...strong? Powerful? God, I don't think I have a large enough vocabulary for this.

What the pilot did, it was amaing and sad. I see why he did it, though. As Jacob Reckless stated, th commander was a dick.

The title was brilliant. Great job. <3

For some reason when I saw the word "joystick" I thought the guy was playing a video game.
Yo. Farthest thing from a video game. Ever.
I've never read a war-related story on here before, and after reading this, I don't think I want to, because I can't imagine any one being any more powerful in so little words.

You really captured the pilot's shock so well, especially when he radios back all confused, believing he has the wrong target. Oh man. The commander's such a dick. “And…” His voice trails off mockingly. I totally would've rammed my plane into him. I see why the pilot did.

That pilot is a real hero. Seriously.

This is really powerful and I really enjoyed reading it; however, there were a few errors here that I saw. First, when someone new is talking, you have to make a new paragraph. If you don't, it makes it look wonky and unorganized. So it should be like this:
His finger stabs at the radio button, over and over again until a dispatcher answers “Problem, J-man?”

The pilot nods, his voice even “I believe I’ve been directed to the wrong building. This is a…school.”

The dispatcher is silent for a second, and then he speaks again “I’ll fetch the commander.”

In a few seconds the commander is on the line, with his soft silky voice “What is it?”

The pilot repeats what he told the dispatcher.

The commander is silent for a second, just like the previous listener…but his next words are startlingly different “I’m not seeing the problem.”

The pilot frowns, glancing down at the growing number of children, before speaking urgently “Sir, this is a school. A school full of children.”

The commander replies lazily “And…” His voice trails off mockingly.

The pilot leans closer to the radio, frustrated. “Sir, I believe in the cause…but killing children?”

But other than that, it was perfect. I hate the commander :| Anyways, lovely job! <3

This was so powerful. <3 It was just -- amazing.

This is really good. I love it. Your attention to detail is amazing. Awesome job! <3