Best Kept Secret - Comments

I love the layout despite the colour picked.

The story was unpredictable, at least to me, and I love how you connected it to the song. It was brilliant at the same time frustrating, the storyline. I hate the fact that the story is uncliched that Grady had to leave and you left Grady's real feelings for Blake a mystery. I love it. I hate love it. Gah. You also kept the story behind their secret, about how they started, untold and even though it was a smart idea (because revealing too much of a story can spoil the mood), I am kinda bummed because I really loved this story so much. I really wish you'd make a prequel and sequel of the story i.e. a chaptered one, because the plot is just amazing. Although, that might spoil this oneshot... Aw nevermind.

But every morning when he slipped out of my window, unnoticed by anyone but me, my heart broke just a fraction. And then, again it would crack every time we passed each other in the hall without even a glance. This is the best paragraph ever. I super diduperly love this one. The words were simple but neat and had so much emotion- unexplainable emotion only the author could feel- that although I didn't cry, it made me blurt an "aww". like really..

Those words brought countless tears to my eyes. Those words confirmed every fear I had ever had; they broke me. These ended the story very well, they were just... skfkdmvdkn. :( By the very end where the lyrics came, I was like "what? No. NO! You're not leaving!" and I was scrolling down the screen only to see that wink at the end..

Great job. I loved it. So much.

Not a big fan of the color scheme.

I love how you kinda have the nobody and somebody dynamic described in the beginning. It's a bit of a cliche, but a very cute one that I adore. It vaguely reminds me of the MTV show awkward. (typing this as I read XD). It's well written, I can say that for sure. Simple detailing can go far when trying to make a connection to the character. She seems to care about him, but he doesn't want to be open and out with her cause of their social status. Aw. D: All in all, I didn't see many errors and I enjoyed this. The point got across quite well and that's a good thing to have with things like these. I love it. :)

Hey,

I really like this,
Its written well and I didn't expect that ending.
I feel bad for her :(

But I like it :)

I really liked this! I liked how it didn't end happy with him confessing him love. It was different, you know? Really great. Thanks so much for the entry!

There were a few grammar issues. Nothing you don't see in books everyday, though. Overall good job.

I especially love how you changed the sentences up other than what we reguarly see. Like when you said she rimmed her eyes in liner. I would have normally seen something like, "I put eyeliner on," which can be a bit boring at times. You changed it up though, which keeps people interested.

"But every morning when he slipped out of my window, unnoticed by anyone but me, my heart broke just a fraction. And then, again it would crack every time we passed each other in the hall without even a glance." The story would have been fine without this paragraph. But you putting it in there gave it a little extra something.

There's tons of other stuff I could compliment you on, but it's too good and there's way too many things to say. Which is good.

This is an excellent job. Keep it up.

wow that's amazing
i loved the ending :)

Wow. I think my heart broke a little at the end. ): It was so good and sad. It gave me an entire story in a short chapter. It is leaving me begging for more though there won't be. The ending was kind of a twist because throughout the story you kind of expect him to admit amazing undying love! But he doesn't. He leaves. It was really really good.
Fantastic idea and so many emotions!!(:

I love it. It's very well written, filled with emotion

I popped you're comment cherry XD