Red - Comments

I really like the story. And I read your authors note in the first chapter. Good job for the person who made the layout. Anyway I really liked the end. It wasnt expected at all and it was greatly detailed. Unlike the person above me I think the girl in white was orginal. A lot of people use 'the dead girl in white' but I think it had a different twist in it.

The way you described the girls dead bodies made me picture it in my mind. I also like the like "Oh I got mail" Just like the person's comment above from me.
Last I could say is keep writing and never let anybody ever tell you different.

I really liked the end.

"Oh I got mail"

Though the whole girl in white isn't orginal really. It's very interesting. A part of me wanting the wolf and red to have a sexy, sex sex, love scene. But I knew from who appear to be through your comments that it would never happen.

I noticed that you captialzed certain things like, The Woods making it, now a discintive place.
There could be more describing words and colourful language in the dialoge. Though it's fairly well written. The layout is nice.

And now I notice who you are speaking about on the "wow" concept.

By reading the frat chapter I am in love. Love how you chamgednthe story up by her working for a mail service instead of the sweet little old girl who has to bring goods to her grandmother. I also love the way you make the reader assume by her reaction that the woods are a bad place, and her eagerness to stay on the road.

The writing is flawless, the layout is gorgeous, this is just amazing all in all.

Writing as I go:

Firstly, I like the idea of the story it seems from just the summary that it has something to do with Red Riding Hood, and I love things like that :3 Though to be honest I'm not that keen on the layout, but I guess that's not what counts, it's the writing :)

The story so far is really interesting, I love how you keep up suspense, and I love the character of Akane. The girl in white really helps keep the suspense with lines such as “You need to be quiet...” She whispered. “He could be anywhere.”

I love the cliff hanger of the second chapter, and I love the description of the wolf/boy hybrid. Really creepy.

Wow the ending was so unexpected! It was really creepy. And I love how the girl was just like "Oh, I got mail" when there's a dead body right there ^_^

Overall: Really well done with this, a really interesting piece of writing! :D

WOW!

Ooh, I like the layout. Judging from it, I guess it's going to be a darker version of Little Red Riding Hood.
:)

Just one criticism before I read the story (I'm actually typing this as I read), I don't like your font. XD It's just me, but I find it hard to read a story if it has that font, but other than that I don't mind it. :P

Ahaha, I love this line. every voice went 'Oooohhhh'. They all knew she was in trouble.
So true, what's with people saying that when someone gets into trouble? XD

So, I just read Chapter 2, and it was all smooth sailing and it definitely made me intrigued for chapter 3.

Omg, I love how you described Akane's dead body. I clearly envisioned a picture of what it probably looked like, fantastic job for using words in a way that it is easy to be imagined. :D

Good job!

Oh, this is interesting. So very...imaginative, but it's obvious it's a well thought through one, and that grounds it in reality. I love fantasy stories, I'm definitely subbing :)
Just a note: sometimes, you have run-on sentences. They're small, but they generally start with *sentence*, they *another sentence*. It works better as one sentence :)

I really really like this.
Keep going!

i love how you wrote it out!!!

I think I am going to enjoy this story! :)
Amanda