Remember My Name - Comments

YAY! An update! :D Aha.
I finally read it, and loved it! :D
Aww... it was sad, though. I hate how friends just abandon you when you want to spend time with them or just want to talk to them. And they include you, but you can tell they don't really mean it, because like in the chapter, it's with a group of people, and... yeah. It just doesn't work. :/
The girl in this story needs a new friend, a better friend that will treat her better. I think that will help her get through this. Because no true friend treats you like a saint one day and just forgets about you the next. :(
Great update. I see you found the song. I love that song. Aha. :)
And you put a lot of emotion into this one as well, like you have with the rest of the story. :)
Can't wait for more! :D

This story has slightly depressing mood, but I like it.

I haven't read any of this yet,
but I love the layout,
and the summary page really makes me excited
to start reading this right away!

Loved the update! :) Aw, well, you said it didn't, but I think the song related quite well. I mean, while Avril Lavigne probably wrote that about a love relationship, it could apply to a best friend as well. :)
Aw, and so... she's slipping away. I can kind of relate to that; I've kind of grown apart from a lot of people that were once great friends. :(
And now you have me wondering what the main character did. So you need to update this, pronto! lol. Just kidding; whenever you can, it's okay. :) But I can't wait for the next update! :D

I remember how that felt, this really is an amazing story, keep going

this is great! I love it already :)
the style of writing with the lyrics lincluded is so unique :D

Wow, this is amazingly relatable. I can see everything happening so well! You've really managed to write down a true story in a beautiful manner. I love it! And the layout as well, it goes so perfectly with the aura of the story. A very intriguing story (:

Firstly, well done for having the guts to put this up. It's not always easy talking about your own experiences in a story. Especially bad experiences.

"You don't need more friends. Everyone likes you already...," I remember picking at my nails as I said this, I knew where this was going, it had happened to me many times. I love this line. By mentioning the little details like how you were picking at your nails, it just made it so vivid and real.

You have a talent when it comes to dialogue. It blends so seamlessly, with your descriptions.

I was the proud receiver of lingering looks, private whispers, and giggles from everyone in my class. It's all so easy to relate to, it takes me back to primary school. Oh nostalgia.

This is really good, normally I find autobiographical works a bit boring and whiny. But yours is intriguing.

Loved the update! :) Hm... it's a bit sad how... well, you, I guess I should say, didn't get to spend time with your friend that summer. :( I'm always sad when I grow apart from friends. :(
So, great update. :) Can't wait for the next chapter! :D

I only read the first chapter but I absolutely loved this. Like, I'm In love with this story.
I love the italics in the first chapter because I... secretly love Taylor Swift. xD
I've been through this actually. In fact, it's only really happened this year. My best friend wanted more friends... so she ditched me. But yeah... I loved this ^___^

You are amazing for having the guts to put something like this up. I can easily relate to you here and there, and I adore you for just putting your feelings; although it sounds biased after a while you just kind of realize that it's your thoughts and you aren't trying to suggest any bad or rude behavior. It seems like you put your heart and soul into this, and I absolutely adore it. I'm subscribing.

I like this. I honestly find you... brave, for putting your thoughts about a person you know in real life into a story. And this story already honestly sounds like something out of a novel. You're a really great writer. :) And it's a bit of a sad story, but also inspiring, because I, probably along with other readers, can relate. There's just that one friend that kind of shuts you out, that you worry about what they think over you, and you want to be their best friend but they act like they could honestly care less about you. So I'm sure that a lot of us can relate to this story. It's truly inspiring, like I said. And I honestly can't wait for more! <3
Definitely... subscribed! :D

First of all, I want to tell you how much I love the layout. I just think it is so beautiful. Anyway, now onto the story. I really liked how you weaved the lines of lyrics into the story. Something else I liked was the fact that you began the story with the two as younger children. This is wonderful so far.

So, your layout is simple and pretty which is always a good thing. Too many graphics might distract a reader from the story. I cannot comment on your summary because I like to dive into a story blind folded.

Your first chapter is short and gives off that prologue type of feel to it. I might be the only one with this opinion, so it might not matter, but I don't like lyrics within a chapter. I think it would be best -- if you feel you need them -- to have lyrics as the chapter title. I tend to keep away from all that because you have to credit the writer, and I like my stories to be mine, you know? Anyway, I agree with Ava on the repetitive thing. You used the end of fifth grade three times. When you and your friend are chatting, I got the feel that school had ended, so why were you still at school? You could put a little more description there, say where they're at, you know?

I always had the same problem: the jealousy. This line is powerful, but it would sound much better if you were to put I always had the same problem: jealousy. There's not much I can say about your second chapter because not much has happened. I get how it feels to have your friends suddenly push you away -- for me, it happened in my sophomore year. I understand what you are or have felt, I'm sure a lot of people do.

Love is war, There just needs to be a period here. We fought--hard. This should be like this: We fought -- hard. there must be a space between words and the dashes. I have a friendship like this, we call it a bipolar love. She's my best friend and has been since we were 6 years old. Yeah, over ten years of random little fights, sticking gum in each other's hair and making fun of each other. We still love each other as much as possible. We've been nasty together, and we've been nasty apart. When we don't speak, we both hurt, it may not seem like it because we do have other friends, but we do. She lives over a hundred miles away now, but comes to visit. (:

What I'm trying to say is, this may be the type of relationship that you have. It get's easier with time, much easier. You will learn that that type of friendship, might be the most stable. I have had tons of other friends, all of them come and go but not my Sam. She's always gonna be there because we're always gonna want to apologize for something someday -- which keeps you in contact. Hang in there, and I can't wait for an update.

I like the layout. The page color seems to match the banner, or a good bit of it, and everything looks super duper neat. The only thing I have even the tiniest discrepancy with is the tiny font, but that can be easily remedied with the zoom button on this window. :)

Error in the summary: I hate you, but your wrong.

Your should be you’re*

Your just means it belongs to someone. Like, that’s theirs. But when you say you’re, it means, you are wrong. See? (:

I like how the summary drew me in, but I didn’t very much like how it gave me nothing solid to stand on. I feel like I’m walking into a dark closet, but from the looks of this layout (and that very sensible journal you posted) I think I’ll be okay, hehe.<33

I couldn't help the dark feeling that was crawling out of hiding, and threatening my heart.

I liked this line. It seems especially poetic and surprising, almost, coming from a fifth grader it seems, aha. That’s another thing that needs to be looked at. You get incredibly repetitive after this bit. Examples would be:

By the end of fifth grade, and then a little farther on: Then came the end of fifth grade.

Other than fixing these few minor repeat details, the only other suggestion I have is to check out your grammar. Some of the sentences in the first part felt like they could stand on their own, and yet, you tacked them onto the sentence before it. Maybe it was just the way I was reading, aha. No worries. (: <33

I really, really liked the idea of this story. I also really, really enjoy how she had a friend like that. Someone she could grow up with – or well, start to grow up with. I think this idea seems really, really cute, even if it’s breaking my heart by the fact that while they seem to be growing up, moving onto bigger things, they’re obviously growing apart. A story that should be told, this is, because I'm sure so many can relate to the story being shared.<33 Amazing job so far, dearie. :)

This is amazing.

First off, the layout is stunning. I adore the banner especially.

Also, your summary is intriguing. Your narrator automatically seems relatable and like someone the reader can empathise with, even though we know barely anything about her yet. It automatically made me want to read on and to discover what situation(s) she was referring to.

I adore the simple, blunt honesty of the first chapter. It's so stark and real, and the sheer simplicity of it is what makes it beautiful. You have a very distinct writing style, and it is an absolute pleasure to read the words you've written and to see the images you create.

I noticed one small error - "You don't need more friends. Everyone likes you already...," I remember picking at my nails as I said this, I knew where this was going, it had happened to me many times."

I think this should be "You don't need more friends. Everyone likes you already..." I remember picking at my nails as I said this. I knew where this was going; it had happened to me many times."
It was just a few very minor punctuation blips - nothing at all major, and it didn't detract from the story in the slightest.

In the second chapter, I really liked how your narrator seemed to embrace the flaws in her character. They're such a major part of the story, so they would be apparent, but she lays them out right in front of the reader, like she has accepted who she is and isn't going to change.

It's honestly really, really beautifully told. I love it.

The layout is soooo pretty. I love the banner... And their feathers.

The story is melancholy but beautiful. Update. :)

First off, the layout is so so pretty. I also like the banner.

And second, the story. <3 Sounds a little sad, but also amazing. Is it your life? <3 I hope to read more.

I love this. Layout, title, concept, it's all amazing. The fact that it is true made me want to keep reading, and your style made it so easy to understand. It flowed extremely well, and the lyrics really add to it even more.

It makes me think of myself as a child in some aspects. I was the quiet one in the group who always got pushed around, and I've never really came out of that role, so this is really killer in some spots.

I can't wait to read more. *subscribes*

This was really good!! I loved the layout, it's was initially drew me in. The summary only added to my excitement, and the content was nothing short of amazing. I can't wait to read more of this. Amazing job. =D